When You Can't Let Go
by matsuko
Summary: The beauty of true love is that it never disappears. But what happens if Kaoru loves two men? The unexpected appearances of the infamous Battousai and Tenken leave Kaoru loving two men, Battousai and Soujiro. Who will she have to let go?
1. Introductions

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or any of the characters/storyline within it. The plot of this fan fiction is my own and thieves will be prosecuted to the furthest extent of my Taekwondo abilities. Which is pretty far. And painful.

When You Can't Let Go

Chapter 1: Introductions

Kaoru could not feel her pain. Everything was numb, and her world had fallen to pieces-leaving her with nothing. Her azure eyes no longer sparkled, they were dull and lackluster betraying the emptiness she held within her shattered heart. Kenshin had left her. He had finally returned to his blasted life of endless wandering...resulting in the endless pain plaguing her now.

A slight slide of the shoji door revealed a young boy, about 13 years old. Yahiko bent and placed the tray he was holding on the inside of Kaoru's room. Sighing, he slowly stood and backed out of the room, closing the door as he exited silently. _She hasn't eaten for three whole days...She is stubborn, but how long can she hold out? Busu no baka. Kenshin is nothing, he proved that when he left us._

…

_I keep seeing his face...his smiling face...'Kaoru-dono'...I was his Kaoru-dono, what happened to that? Why did he have to leave when I need him so much? _A voice in the back of Kaoru's mind reminded her that she didn't really need Kenshin like she believed she did. _You survived 17 years without him. You're young, you need to move on. Keep the dojo, train your students-they need you. Com'n Kamiya, you're stronger than this!_

After three consecutive days of living in her misery, Kaoru stood and made her way to the food Yahiko had left for her. She felt dizzy and light-headed from lack of sleep and food. With shaky steps she carried the tray back to her futon and sat with the tray on her lap. The miso soup was warm, and the fish was a little over-cooked but the rice was good and the whole meal filled her aching stomach.

Finishing her meal, she felt content and decided to take a nap to fulfill her sleeping quota which she had denied the past 72 hours.

…..

The sun's rays awakened the sleeping kendo instructor with a gentle warmth that brightened her face and highlighted the ebony locks trailing along her collarbone. Her sapphire eyes fluttered open and she sat up quickly. "Kenshin..." Her voice trailed off leaving her with nothing but the faint sounds of breakfast being prepared in the kitchen. Rising from her futon, Kaoru swept her hair out of her face and into a knot at the base of her neck until she could find her ribbon. "But Kenshin took my ribbon..." She murmured aloud.

Shaking her head of thoughts pertaining to a certain redheaded wanderer, Kaoru gathered supplies and a change of clothes for her bath. She knew she had neglected hygiene far too much in the last few days.

…

Yahiko was surprised that Kaoru had eaten and left the empty tray out in the hallway. He heard her moving around in her room and saw her pass out to the bathhouse. With a renewed energy he turned to the rooster helping him in the kitchen and said, "Do you hear her? She's finally up rooster-head!" Sano suddenly perked up from his stupor and said, "Jou-chan's up? Where? When? How is she?"

"Calm down, she'll come to eat when she's ready, she went out to the bathhouse." The young samurai replied. Inside, both of her friends were elated and trying hard not to show it too much, it would be embarrassing-they were men, after all.

…..

Kaoru stepped out of the bathhouse with a slight spring in her step. Lightly she shook her head, freeing the raven strands of excess water then swiftly compiled the hair into a dampened ponytail which fell to her middle back. "The day is wonderful, and I will make the best of it...without Kenshin." she whispered to the sakura trees that were in full bloom. _It's almost as if he's been gone an eternity...yet a part of me still clings to the hope he'll return...will he? _

Kaoru continued to think to herself about all the holes that would be in her life now that the ex-hitokiri had left. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, friendliness...Shaking her head vigorously she made her way to the mainhouse for breakfast.

There she found Sano and Yahiko setting bowls with reheated fish and leftover rice and chopsticks on the table. Kneeling, she took the spot where she usually sat...before Kenshin left.

Breakfast passed quickly and was surrounded in a semi-comfortable atmosphere. Yahiko asked her when she would begin teaching her classes again so he could train himself. Actually he didn't phrase it quite that way..."Busu, are you going to be teaching? Because if you don't...I can still help out."

Kaoru's eyes squeezed shut and Yahiko thought his instructor was going to cry again. But instead when she opened them, it seemed a fire had been ignited within the young girl's whole body. Suddenly a bokken appeared from behind the young girl and she began to chase the little boy in circles and screeched, "500 swings Yahiko-chan! Then you will go get me some tofu!"

…

His smiled. It's all he ever did. His katana hung from his waist as he walked gracefully and silently through the crowded streets of Tokyo. Wandering, it was his fate to seek redemption from this eternal searching for answers. Was Himura-san right? Or was Shishio-sama? Three years had revealed nothing to the young boy. _I long to settle down, but I need to find the answers and unveil the truth...All the blood soaked in the ground during the revolution-I contributed to it...I shortened thousands of lives for a cause I'm not sure of, even now I am haunted by those people. Are there stronger people made to protect the weak, or are the weak meant to die for being unable to protect themselves?_

A noise startled the young man out of his revere. His attention was brought to a fight beginning in front of him. Two burly men were scuffling over invasion of personal space, it seemed. _Well, I'll just have to take care of this quickly. It will be nothing._

Swiftly weaving through the crowd, the enigma with a sword at his side was suddenly in the middle of the fight. There was a young boy being viciously punched in the center of the mass of bodies. The boy suddenly pulled a shinai from his side and began to hit his attackers savagely over the head with powerful, calculating, yet wild strikes. _I can see he's desperate, he has training but is too worked up now and unfocused to apply the methods and techniques required to win over the brute force..._

…..

Yahiko was doomed. Kaoru had told him to bring back tofu, and here he was...fighting. Fighting against very large men who were determined to take him somewhere. _I love how everyone is enjoying this little show, but I hate how nobody is lifting a finger to help me. Oh well, I can take them!_ Grabbing his shinai he furiously swung with all his might and took down two of his attackers. Unfortunately more and more closed in to fill the emptying ranks and his arms were beginning to ache from the force of his blows.

Suddenly, the assailants were falling faster than they could get back up. Yahiko saw a small boy in a blue gi moving rapidly between the men. The flash of a katana was clearly visible, but the blood could be found on neither the ground nor blade.

Then, as quickly as the attacks had begun against the thugs, it had ended and a small man with flashing blue eyes stood in the midst of the unconscious men. "You should be more careful, that you should." said the mysterious savior. Yahiko gaped at the sword which had been resheathed and closed his mouth under the scrutiny of the swordsman. "Ari-arigatou...-"

"-Soujiro. Seta Soujiro. And you are, young samurai?"

"Myojin Yahiko. Seta-san...would you like to come have tea? I mean, to repay you for your kindness and all that..." Yahiko's gruff voice betrayed his admiration. Inside, his heart and brain were churning and taking in how this Soujiro had spoken like Kenshin and how he had not killed his attackers when it was clear he could have. He was just like Kenshin on the outside, but on the inside, Yahiko was hoping that they would be a little different. Maybe Busu could get a date and forget about Kenshin.

"I would appreciate tea, Yahiko-san, that I would." Soujiro didn't see a problem with being out of the elements for a while, and Yahiko seemed fine enough.

_Yes! He didn't call me "chan"...Finally, I'm getting the respect a great warrior like myself deserves!_

…..

Kaoru had instructed the beginner class with as much energy as ever. _I will not let my situation affect my students...I'm stronger than that..._

"Okay, now I want everyone to stretch well! I won't have any pulled muscles!"

As the last of the class left, Kaoru saw Yahiko walking through the gate. In tow was a black haired boy-no-_man_. _Wow, that guy is really young looking, but it's clear that he's older-the way he walks...He's a swordsman! _Kaoru saw his sword and attire, and he heart jumped into her throat. What if it was one of Kenshin's old enemies? But that feeling Kaoru had in the pit of her stomach...Were they...butterflies?

…..

Soujiro took in his surroundings, the place was clean albeit a bit lacking in refinement but the comforting feeling he had when he saw the dojo and wide yard compensated for any missing grandness. His gaze caught a young woman, a very beautiful one, ushering children from the dojo door. Holding a bokken with a firm grip in one had and was patting children on the head with the other she was the perfect picture of a goddess.

Her eyes trailed after the young students with a slight look of longing. Soujiro wondered what she was thinking...her smile continued to sparkle as she turned her head towards the young boy who was still leading him through the courtyard closer to this woman.

…..

I held my breath as the smiling man continued to allow himself to be led by Yahiko. The breeze blew wisps of raven hair into his face and with a sure hand, the stranger smoothed the strands back. This feeling in my stomach…it felt wildly exhilarating. I found myself wondering how well he fought…how his body might glide, guiding the sword by his side with lethal accuracy. _Good grief, Kamiya! You don't even know his name and you're thinking about… _

…..

The young woman looked pensive and reserved. I turned my head for a moment to observe the boy ahead of me, only to look back to the black-haired beauty and see that she had screwed up her face into the most laughable contortion. Obviously she was upset by something. I wondered what it was.

…..

_AH! I met his eyes! I bet he saw me ogling him…_

"Ohayo, Yahiko-chan." I gave a bow in the direction of the handsome stranger. "Ohayo…" I led questioningly.

"Soujiro, Seta Soujiro." He replied, his voice soft with a tenor-tinge.

My heart betrayed me, fluttering like a thousand butterfly wings on the wind. _I sound like a hopeless romantic. I don't even believe in romance anymore. Humph._ I smiled. "Nice to meet you, Seta-san. I'm Kamiya Kaoru, but you can call me plain old Kaoru."

Sou-chan…I mean, Seta-san grinned even wider than usual. "Very well, Kaoru-san. And I would prefer if you called me Soujiro."

I pulled my thoughts away from his face long enough to ask a reasonable question. "So, Yahiko, do you have the tofu?"

Yahiko grunted and handed me a medium sized package of wrapped tofu. "Soujiro here saved me. Some guys were being bakas and tried to start something. They were cheats, otherwise I could've handled them." Yahiko ended his story with a cocky grin.

"Ah, sou ka. Arigato Soujiro, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you helping Yahiko." I formulated my sentence carefully so I wouldn't wound Yahiko's young pride. "Would you like to join us for some tea?"

"I would enjoy that immensely Kaoru-san."

…..

I will call her Kaoru in my head for now. Such a fitting name. My thoughts were interrupted as I thought of how long I might be able to stay with this lady and boy. But Shishio's teachings echoed through my thoughts. The weak would die…were they weak? Was Himura-san correct? Should I protect the weak?

…..

Kenshin walked down an abandoned road which wound through the most desolate and isolated parts of the wood. Aoshi had once shown him this road. The Oniwanbanshuu often used it because it was so unknown.

The wind was blowing and the wandering samurai felt a tug at his heart. He was lonely again. The redhead mused at how he'd been able to avoid this particular emotion for a few years while residing at a bustling dojo headed by a beautiful young woman. Kenshin envisioned her running out from the gates, greeting him…she was always so torn when he left. He hated to leave her, he really did-but he still had an obligation to atone for the horrible sins of his past. The bloody cries of his victims always haunted his dreams, and whenever he allowed himself the luxury of living in the moment with Kaoru the brutalities of his past brushed the edges of his conscious, reminding him of his unworthiness.

Despite his thoughts, Kenshin noticed the old woman ahead of him before she was even in his line of sight.

"Battousai." The elderly woman spoke in a voice full of strength contrasting with her feeble image.

"Who are you?" Kenshin didn't put up the rurouni façade of mindless courtesy. This was a woman who could not be underestimated. Stories of spirits in these woods were not uncommon, and Kenshin wouldn't allow himself to fall prey to something just because he was too obstinate to believe folklore. Anything was possible. Couldn't he move with the speed of a god?

"You wrought havoc on many lives during the Bakumatsu. Now you wander to atone for your sins. But Battousai, look inside yourself. You are at war. Torn between two conflicting and mutually exclusive ideals, what will happen now is destined. The separation of dueling souls, two different people trapped within one host. Who will remain, the Wanderer or the Battousai? Prepare yourself." The seemingly harmless woman shifted into an offensive stance and began muttering in a foreign tongue.

Kenshin barely had time to think about the old woman's words before a great light engulfed his body. A searing pain ripped through his chest and he felt something expel itself from his body into the darkening sky. Holding back an anguished scream Kenshin fell to his knees, forgetting the woman who had already disappeared.

With a quiet yet menacing growl, the redhead sank into a black oblivion.


	2. Getting To Know Us

**If you have not read chapter one with Kenshin, go back and read it now!**

AN: Well, thank you for the reviews! I never realized how much reviews mean to an author, they really are addictive. Sorry about not updating in weeks…I hate it when authors leave you hanging, but I honestly don't know where I'm going to take the story, so I've been thinking a lot. Too much, in fact. If you have any ideas as to where you want the story to go, just give me a review and I'll try to incorporate it. Finally, does anyone out there want to beta my story:crickets in background: Alright, then. I guess I can find one on ebay…

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin and I'm not making any money from this fan fiction.

When You Can't Let Go

Chapter 2: Getting To Know Us

After two weeks with us Soujiro was no longer a guest, he was going to be staying with us for quite a while. He took up the chores that Kenshin had, and he helped me teach classes twice a week.

For some reason I had more students after Kenshin left. I know the parents feared the old hitokiri, but I never knew how much they begrudged him. So with 10 new students, two being girls around 8yrs old, Soujiro helped teach the more advanced classes while Yahiko helped out some with the beginners.

Soujiro was amazing with his sword, as good as Kenshin. I'm still not quite sure about his past. All that he's told us is that he has been wandering for a year, his story sounds similar to Kenshin's.

Sometimes I still lie in bed at night wondering about Kenshin. Hopefully his journey is going well, and he hasn't encountered any trouble from past rivals or other crazy people. I truly hope he's happy, even if it's not with me. I realize that he carries a burden greater than any I could ever imagine, but my heart still hurts when I think about how he couldn't share it with me. I would've helped him! I loved him. The question now is, do I still love him? Will I wait for him?

Thus, my dilemma. Soujiro is kind, and warm. The way he hides things behind a smile is endearing and I can't fault him for being reclusive, not when he has opened himself to me as much as he has so far. He's told me that soon he would tell me everything. Kenshin never told me anything…I can already feel myself falling for Soujiro and my heart has made a permanent space for him. Will Kenshin come back to me before I let Soujiro know how I feel?

I remember the day we taught an advanced class together.

Flashback

Kaoru was exhausted. She and Soujiro had sparred with everyone in the class.

Spreading herself on the floor, Kaoru laid down and gazed at the wood of the ceiling. She glanced over at Soujiro, who had taken up a similar position to hers with his hands cushioning his head that hadn't broken a sweat.

"How are you so good, Sou-chan?" Kaoru caught her mistake too late, but Soujiro merely smiled.

"Well, Kao-chan," Soujiro's eyes sparkled with amusement while Kaoru's shone with embarrassment. "I learned swordsmanship early on from a great fighter. I…I killed many people working for this man. I thought what I was doing was right, but then a great swordsman fought with me and showed me that there's more to life than the teaching I followed. So I began to wander, hoping to atone for the sins of my past."

Soujiro looked to Kaoru, praying he would not find horror or anger at his past. He found neither in her compassionate gaze. Kaoru looked at him.

"Soujiro, I don't care what you did in the past as long as you're a good person now. You can't change your past actions, but you can mold yourself into a person of great character now. I don't hold anything against you. In fact, I'm honored you would help me teach the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu."

Soujiro had never found Kaoru more attractive than at that moment. Her eyes blazing with conviction and face tinted with the results of hard exercise. Kaoru's damp bangs clung to her forehead as she closed her eyes and told him a little of her past.

"My mother died when I was very young, I barely remember her. My father, he began teaching me the way of the sword when I was 6 years old. My father died a few years ago. I never got to learn about being a girl, but that doesn't matter now because I have a dojo to run." Kaoru's blue eyes glazed over with memories, only to focus again on the present. "What's done is done, but maybe you could tell me more about you sometime soon, Soujiro."

"I will Kaoru, don't worry. I have a feeling I'll be telling you a lot more in the future."

The two fighters lay on the wooden floor in silence for a while before Yahiko came in and demanded why they weren't cooking dinner yet.

End Flashback

Yes, I don't know who exactly it was that Soujiro worked for and I don't know who this great fighter it was that changed his mind about what his old master taught him. I'll find out in time.

Hmm, but I wonder what he meant when he said he'd be telling me a lot more in the future…more what? I'm not very attractive, but I'm not repulsive. Maybe if I dress up some more, he'll notice me like Sano notices Megumi. Though, with any luck he won't treat me the way the Sano treats the fox-doctor.

…..

Kaoru chewed her breakfast pensively. I noted the gentle way she held her chopsticks, the tendrils of ebony escaping her high ponytail, and the far-off look her inward gaze held. I've been staying with this Kamiya Kaoru for two weeks. Already I've decided that this is where I will stay for as long as she will allow, which will hopefully be a long time.

The young kendo instructor has grown on me, and so has the little samurai that lives with us. The freeloader makes quite the amusing companion. All in all, I believe I have finally found peace.

Nightmares are few and far between when I'm sleeping in the room next to Kaoru's. Her even breathing soothes me and Shishio-sama's teachings seem far away when I'm near her. They're far away because I now know the answer. I will protect the weak.

Kaoru may not be 'weak' but she needs protection, as does Yahiko.

I would protect them with my life. My stained life is nothing compared to their innocent and vibrant lives. They may be weak according to Shishio-sama, but they are strong in their own rights-and I will protect their strength.

…..

A calm and comfortable silence had settled over the three eating breakfast when a loud voice broke the quiet.

"Yo! Jou-chan! What's for breakfast?" The words were audible before the three saw the spiky haired rooster enter.

Thudding without a hint of grace, the ex-fighter for hire sat himself next to Soujiro and Yahiko. Smiling, he reached over and filled an extra bowl with rice.

"Hopefully the little missy didn't make this." Sano inhaled deeply. "Heh, doesn't smell like it. In fact, smells like Seta was the one who made this wonderful meal!"

Kaoru gripped her chopsticks tightly and restrained herself from hitting Sano over the head with a bokken. Her eyes flashed dangerously as her saccharine voice directed itself to Sano.

"Sano, how nice of you to join us for breakfast…" Kaoru's vein was almost popping out from the frustration she felt at the rooster-head as he sat nonchalantly and shoved his face. "It is also so nice of you to volunteer to wash the floors! We are going to be a bit busy today. Yahiko has to teach the beginners class and Soujiro-kun and I were going to go out to the market and buy dinner. The floors are a bit dirty, but I'm sure you'll be able to handle it. You are a big strong man, after all."

With a tanuki smirk, Kaoru rose from her spot and began to clear the dishes. Yahiko angrily yelled with a full mouth as she attempted to take away his almost empty bowl.

"I wasn't finished yet, Busu! Gimme it back!" With deliberate movements, Kaoru deposited his bowl into the pile of dishes to be washed.

"Oh, Yahiko-chan. You were done. What else could you have done to get more? Eat the bowl itself? Tsk, tsk. I believe it's time for you to start your practice before the younger children arrive. Hurry up, Yahiko-chan."

Yahiko lunged at Kaoru, "Don't you call me _-chan_, you ugly old hag!"

Soujiro's arm moved faster than anyone's eye could catch as he grabbed Yahiko's gi. "Yahiko, I believe that you should listen to your teacher…" Soujiro said with a smile. With a sharp glance and crossed arms, Yahiko nodded and stomped out to the dojo.

Sano gaped. "You can control the brat? Good grief, Seta! What've you got that keeps hold on him?"

Soujiro simply smiled and said, "Well, I'm not sure. Are you done, Sagara-san?"

The rooster-head grimaced at the honorific, " Pssh. Don't call me _Sagara-san_, makes me sound old. Just call me Sano. And don't call me rooster-head either, but I'm sure you have enough self-preservation sense not to do that."

"Alright, Sano."

…..

The day was hot and humid, without the balm of a slight breeze. Soujiro was concentrating on washing the laundry, and Kaoru was absent mindedly hanging it.

_Augh, it's so hot. I need to take a bath! Hmm. _Kaoru's eyes glinted, and it wasn't just the sun-she was plotting. _I need to have a good laugh. Now…I'm sure I can think of something that'll unnerve the smiling ronin washing my laundry. Yahiko and Sano are too predictable, with Soujiro, I'll need to be incredibly sneaky…_

Kaoru surreptitiously made her way over to the wash basin where Soujiro was kneeling. "Soujiro, are you having fun? Would you like to switch places?" Just as the unsuspecting wanderer turned his head to reply, Kaoru pushed him into the large water container.

Quick as lightening, Kaoru found herself on top of Soujiro…inside the water basin. "AAUUGHH! What was THAT for Soujiro!" she sputtered indignantly.

"Ah, Kaoru. I thought there might have been danger, so I removed you from the path of the possibly dangerous projectile-"

"-THAT WASN'T EVEN THERE!" Kaoru finished for him.

_Jeez. I can't even pull a good prank on him because he's so gosh darn…Augh. Whoa. He has some firm stomach muscles. _

Kaoru shifted slightly from her position on top of Soujiro. Their faces were inches apart, and she could feel his breath on her skin. Their clothes were soaking wet, but they weren't so hot anymore. Well, not hot from the weather, Kaoru's face was burning from embarrassment at their predicament. She attempted to remove herself from atop Soujiro only to slip more and fall onto him again.

Soujiro chuckled and caught her from her second slip. Kaoru's eyes met his and they started laughing.

…..

Kaoru's eyes met mine, and she started laughing. A split second after, I joined her. Laughing and smiling was safer than acknowledging the growing heat I felt inside of me. Her face was so bright and carefree, skin shimmering from the water dripping down her face.

I'll never admit aloud how much I enjoyed her cradled to my front, even if we were in a most uncomfortable position in a wash basin. Truth be told, I had heard her coming up behind me, but I never suspected that she would try to push me in. I could've stopped myself from ending up in the position that we were currently in, but for some odd reason I wanted it. I knew that I was pulling her in with me.

I've become a lecher. Way to go, Seta. Win her heart by pulling her into wash basins.

Kaoru had finally eased her laughing fit into something more manageable, and she directed her mirthful gaze to the sky. "Soujiro, what do you see in the sky?" She asked me in a hushed voice. That second, my heart skipped a beat at her pure beauty.

…..

Soujiro lifted her from his body and stood, Kaoru still in his arms. Moving to stand a little bit away from her, he answered.

"I see a sky that is indefinitely high and clear. In it, I see the embodiment of life itself. The clouds are always changing, never once the same as the moment before. And the sun and moon always have a cycle. Human life always changes, but there are always patterns that never change. In one life, or one sky, a person might see something completely different from another." Soujiro finished quietly, thinking of Shishio-sama's and Himura-san's different teachings.

Kaoru smiled. She looked over at Soujiro.

"Thank you for staying with us. I'm not sure you realize how much Yahiko and…and even I…need you." Kaoru looked over a Soujiro without any weakness in her gaze.

His heart clenched painfully at the sight of her crystalline orbs. They were laced with a pain he longed to ease away, but the strength radiating from her told him that she would make it-pain or not.

"Kaoru-" Soujiro started.

"-Missy! Stop messing around and-" Sano took in the scene before him. "-WHY ARE YOU SOAKED! That is NOT fair, Jou-chan! Who said you get to cool off while I'm over here practically dying of heat while cleaning YOUR floors!"

Kaoru crossed her arms and said, "Fine, Sano. Jump into the water basin if you really want to get wet!" Kaoru gestured towards the half empty water in the large container. "But I'm not sure you could fit your rooster-head in it…" She said thoughtfully.

Sano's eyes flashed with a mischievous light. He ran across the yard and jumped into the basin like a little kid. Water splashed the already soaking Soujiro and Kaoru.

Sano looked up at them from his position in the basin; hair limp and hanging down to his chin instead of spiking from his head. Kaoru burst out laughing. Soujiro chuckled and Sano joined them with a sniggering laughter, complete with snorts.

Yahiko opened the dojo doors and the young students filed out, yelling their goodbyes fondly to him. Yahiko glanced over at the water basin and took in a strange sight.

Kaoru with a sopping wet kimono that clung almost indecently to her curves, Soujiro laughing with a smile the looked different from his usual grin, and Sano…with wilted brown strands of hair instead of his usual gravity defying up-do.

"Ehh…" Yahiko sweat dropped. (AN: Gomen if you don't like this unprofessional tidbit. But you just can't explain it any other way! Anime sweat drops are the best in this situation!)

…..

Battousai made his way through the streets of Tokyo, crimson locks in a high ponytail much like the one he wore in the Bakumatsu. Aware of the uneasy glances that were being sent his way, the hitokiri increased his pace towards the Kamiya dojo.

Reaching the gates of his old home, Battousai pushed open the doors to be greeted by a most amusing sight.

A feral grin touched his lips and he appreciatively took in the sight of his Kaoru with a wet kimono in the hot sun. He noticed Sano in the tub and Yahiko gaping at the scene before him. A strong ki flared, drawing his attention away from the enticing woman before him.

…..

Soujiro sensed a warrior's ki approaching the dojo, so he became battle-ready. He would protect Kaoru. _I haven't know her for long, but she has already reached me. I will help her any way I can. _

When the doors opened, Soujiro saw the Battousai. The redhead held his head high and directed his amber gaze towards a Kaoru dripping water. Rage swept through Soujiro's veins as he saw the way that Battousai was leering at Kaoru. _She is not some candy to be eyed so rudely! Although, I've found myself inextricably drawn to her as well, but that's ME and I'm different. _

Soujiro felt his ki jump and Battousai turned to look at him, his eyes cold and steely.

Would this constitute as a "cliffy?" Hehe. I might have to change my story summary, because I'm not sure if my idea for kidnapping will pan out the way I wanted it to. Especially with the change of pairing I'm contemplating. Ha! You readers will not know who will be with Kaoru until the end! If you tell me what you want though, I might be able to tweak the story a bit…


	3. Confrontations

To all the inquisitive readers: Gomen, lo siento, sorry! I should have clarified that this fanfiction is going to be slightly inconsistent with the series. I'm not sure if that would constitute a flat out AU description or not, but you can label it "slightly AU" if it makes you feel better. So, Kenshin is the only one aware of Soujiro's previous relationship with Shishio and he still had the fight with Soujiro (which was a tie). Sano never saw any of it, the other characters have no clue, etc etc. Again, sorry for the confusion about Soujiro and the Kenshingumi.

AN: Never fear, I will not remove the Kaoru kidnapping. I will enjoy making Kaoru give her captor a hard time and she's a strong character...so it'll work. My brainstorming has resulted in a near-genius plot (I speak lies, but oh well, propaganda works), with a twist I might throw in because my friend "said so." My writing has been bothering me. Does anybody think the balance between dialogue and description is off? Oh, and I changed the "1111111" separations to "….." . Happy? AUTHOR WITH WORK IN PROGRESS (STILL) SEEKING DECENT BETA READER.

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin and such.

When You Can't Let Go

Chapter 3: Confrontations

Soujiro felt his ki jump and Battousai turned to look at him, his eyes cold and steely.

…..

I met his gaze unflinchingly, just as I had a year ago before our fight. But, the Battousai standing before me now was exponentially different than the Battousai from a year's passage.

I had fought a far more passive violet-eyed swordsman, not the amber-eyed beast in gi and hakama. A worn sakabatou no longer hung from his waist. Instead Battousai sported a katana and matching short sword, the wakizashi. A loose-fitting deep navy blue gi and the white hakama which clung to lean hips matched the stories of the legendary Battousai's attire from the Bakumatsu.

"Seta."

Battousai bit out my name, he didn't fail to leave out any tone which would suggest his dislike. Or rather, hate.

He looked over at Kaoru, who was still standing quite innocently in a wet kimono. Kaoru seemed almost as if she was in a daze, then quickly recovered.

"Kenshin!" The beautiful, young dojo instructor I had grown to admire ran towards Battousai and she _embraced_ him. Never had I seen someone act so informally with the killer.

"Oh, Kenshin! I missed you so much…Ano, what happened? No. I don't have to know. Just don't leave me again, onegai. Kenshin." Her pleading voice struck a chord in me.

I felt a pang of jealousy and I instinctively gripped the hilt of my sword, but retained a placid smile.

…..

I felt wetness seeping into my clothes, but I didn't care. The expression in the Tenken's eyes was priceless. I wasn't fooled by the fool's smile, it was clear he didn't like Kaoru holding me this way.

"Kaoru." She physically reacted to the obvious omission of the usual honorific by tightening her hold. I gazed into her surprised cobalt eyes and thought of all the times the Rurouni had denied himself this wonderful woman. Her arms remained tight around my torso, and my hands found themselves in her black, wet hair.

Gently sweeping my fingers through the water-heavy strands, I whispered into her ear.

"I won't. I won't leave you again, Kaoru." My heart felt more passion than what justice, or lack thereof, my words did-but I refused to overstep the threshold of excessive emotions.

"Yo, Kenshin! Where'ya been?" An unchanged, boisterous Sano decided to break the moment. Typical.

"Places. I've made some changes, Sano." I coolly responded. No need to react in the rurouni way, seeing as he was no longer around.

"I noticed, Kenshin." A venomous young voice called out.

I turned and saw Yahiko glaring at me. I expected his anger.

…..

After a few seconds I could practically feel the tension growing between Kenshin and Yahiko. My young student's eyes were blazing, and I could tell he was very upset. When Kenshin had left the last time, Yahiko was sick of it and now I knew he wasn't going to be forgetting the grudge he formed.

I put on my best smile, which wasn't hard because Kenshin had returned. I didn't want to think about the swords he carried, or the change in his attitude and clothing. It was enough that he was back with me.

"Okay everybody, I guess we'll just have to get a great dinner started! Soujiro and I will finish the laundry, Sano and Yahiko-you guys go get dinner cooking."

"Er, Jou-chan. Maybe we should just go to the Akabeko." Sano said with a slight trace of fear in his voice. "I mean, we know how exciting it is that Kenshin came back…and uh….maybe we should just…uh, party and skip all the _cooking_…"

I admired Sano's efforts to delicately avoid my lack of cooking skills. But that wouldn't help him now. I stepped away from Kenshin and towards the ex-gangster.

"Just. What. Are. You. _Suggesting?_ Sano…" I glared. "Are you suggesting that cooking here might lead to me helping and then ruining a meal?" More of my classic tanuki anger inched its way into my voice and demeanor.

I pushed my sleeves up and cocked an arm, ready to fight with the baka rooster head. But a breeze swept by and my still wet kimono made me shiver.

"Mou."

…..

Kaoru's pouty and upset face caused Sano and Yahiko to burst out laughing. Apparently she had just realized that the sun was becoming obscured by clouds and a little wind had picked up.

Soujiro made his move into the scene.

"Kaoru, maybe I should handle the remaining laundry and you could go change. Perhaps afterwards, we could all go to the Akabeko."

The others in the group either remained quiet or nodded their head in affirmation. Battousai chose to alternate between eyeing Kaoru and sending heated glances at the Soujiro.

"Ok, Soujiro. You're always so reasonable." Kaoru sighed when she looked at her kimono. At least it wasn't ruined.

…..

After Kaoru had made her exit, Sano and Yahiko muttered about getting changed too. That left me and the Tenken.

I started the conversation. "Tenken…or should I call you Soujiro?" I said with a straight face and neutral body stance, neither aggressive nor too relaxed.

"Soujiro is fine. I ceased to be the Tenken when our fight ended, Battousai." Soujiro replied with a calm look on his face, and the ever present smile solely on his lips. I briefly wondered if Kaoru knew this boy's smile never reached his eyes.

"Battousai, I am correct in calling you this, ne?" Soujiro's blue eyes hardened.

"I suppose you are, Kenshin would be good in front of Kaoru though. What happened is relatively simple, but you don't need to know it-just that Battousai is correct. It should be suffice to say that I have returned." Battousai paused. "I have no resentment towards you. You fought well last year. Crossing blades with you now would probably serve only to upset Kaoru, so we will not engage ourselves that way. Agreed, Soujiro?" I set my face in a plaster of seriousness. I honestly didn't want to upset Kaoru now, especially not with the plans I had for her.

"Agreed, Battousai."

…..

I changed into a lavender kimono with white sakura petals on the sleeves. A matching obi of a darker shade fit my waist as I struggled a little to tie it. I was never really one for fashion like Megumi. The stupid fox-doctor, I could already see her laughing at my attempts to make a beautiful knot instead of a normal one.

With a sigh, I settled for a slightly more formal knot than my usual, but not nearly as sophisticated as the complicated knot would have been.

My hair was drying quickly and I decided to leave it down instead of putting it in a ponytail. I also decided not to bother with the makeup Megumi used. She had given me some before, and I still had it, but had yet to use it.

With a quick dab of lavender oil on my pulse points, I checked to make sure I was presentable and slide the shoji door open.

Stepping into the hallway, I could hear Sano and Yahiko joking around on the porch.

…..

I felt Kaoru's ki move through the house, making its way towards us. My instincts screamed that Battousai was also tracking her. I ignored him.

When she finally came onto the porch, my heart almost stopped.

She was beautiful.

Somehow she was even more attractive than her everyday self. Her kimono complemented her azure eyes and the curtain of ebony hanging down to the small of her back perfected the image of a tennyo. Tennyo: a beautiful celestial maiden. An air of confidence and contentment surrounded her, appealing to me…and Battousai.

If she didn't see the way he was drinking her in with his eyes, she was blind. I felt that familiar pang composed of anger and envy rip through my chest. Kaoru simply smiled at us all and asked if we were ready to go.

_Go where?_ I thought with a hentai grin. _Good grief, Seta. She's only one girl, don't get so worked up._ I honestly couldn't explain how this young kendo instructor had wormed her way into my heart, but I wouldn't change it now. I knew we were only a year or two apart, and she had been the first to accept me, despite how shadowed I kept my past. She was the first person I cared about this way…the feeling was new.

Jerked from my thoughts, we all began the procession towards the Akabeko.

…..

I thought dinner went well. Walking to dinner I had made sure to remain by Kaoru's side and the Tenken was ever so amusing in his attempts to draw her attention to him. Of course she was polite with the others, but I could tell she was drawn to me and her sparkling eyes begged for me to tell her where I had been.

I would tell her one day.

On the way back from the Akabeko Soujiro had stolen my spot beside Kaoru, but I remained close to the two as they conspiratorially whispered and occasionally laughed.

I allowed spite to flood my gaze, and I focused my anger at Soujiro. He couldn't be that close to Kaoru, not after only two weeks at the dojo.

When I had left I had initially gone because I wanted to repair my sakabatou, but that was the Rurouni's plan. The old woman was an incident that just happened to work in my favor.

I kept tabs on Kaoru, through my own means. I knew how distressed she was, how angry Yahiko was, and I was also aware of the Tenken.

But how could he have gotten _that_ close to her? I'd had enough.

"Ah, Sou-chan! You do the funniest imitations!" Kaoru clutched her sides as she laughed harder. Her face was flushed and she was glowing with an inner fire.

"Sou-chan?" I questioned with an almost teasing voice.

"Mou, Kenshin! You shouldn't sneak up on people like that! I thought you had gone with Sano and Yahiko!" Kaoru said in a mock-stern voice.

"No. Sano went to be with Megumi and Yahiko stayed to help Tsubame." I calmly stated. I breathed. "I was just practicing my ninja skills." Soujiro's smile almost faltered as he figured out I had made a joke. Ha. The little swordsman is easily surprised.

Kaoru simply slackened her jaw as she gazed at me, almost unsure of what happened.

Apparently my little Kaoru was also easily surprised.

"Ah, Kenshin. Perhaps we could have an emulation competition-" Soujiro started, using my name to make Kaoru more comfortable.

A feminine voice interrupted him "-a copy cat test, Kenshin. Soujiro is always making things sound so mature." She glanced at him and quietly snickered. Kaoru really was a sight.

"I suppose we could. Kaoru, you start. Try…" I paused.

Soujiro cut in "Sano! Do Sano, Kao-chan. Er, I mean, Kaoru…" He blushed slightly at himself. Kaoru beamed at him.

"Alright, Sou-chan." She said teasingly, obviously not disturbed by his familiarity with her name.

Then, with a big intake of breath which caused her chest to rise then fall, she made a nonchalant Sano expression and pretended to chew on a fish bone.

"Oi, Jou-chan! What's for dinner?" Kaoru grunted out in a brutish tone which held, however ridiculous, an uncanny resemblance to the Rooster.

Soujiro burst out laughing. His blue eyes smiled along with his mouth now. My, my…Kaoru had the ability to bring out almost everyone's happiness.

"Ah…Kaoru…" Soujiro had to stop to laugh some more. "That was good. Very, very good. Quite accurate also."

Kaoru stopped her imitation face and began to laugh along with the Tenken. I was amused on the inside, so I figured I might as well join them. I couldn't have the Tenken laughing with my Kaoru unaccompanied.

"Yes, Kaoru. That was impressive. I had no idea you had so many talents. Instructor of the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu and perfect impersonator of Sagara Sanosuke."

And then I laughed.

_The things I must do, _I thought with an internal sigh.

…..

Kaoru laughed along with the Tenken and Battousai. She didn't know of their animosity, but she did know that her Kenshin was changed. But as young girls often do, she clung to what she wanted to see, not the reality she walked beside.

With a high ponytail and a striking gaze of molten gold, Battousai was every bit alive as he was in the Bakumatsu.

On the other side of the girl walked the infamous Tenken, the only one to match Battousai's unholy god-like speed. His black hair and light blue eyes were similar to hers, yet simultaneously, vastly different.

Kaoru continued walking and talking with the two men down the street lit only by the fading sun. Kaoru was laughing again, and she failed to notice the small hole in the road. Her foot was caught and she fell forward with the momentum of her walking.

Before she could even come near to the ground her two companions were gripping onto her arms and stomach, preventing her from sprawling onto the dusty street. Kaoru could feel her cheeks grow warm as she thanked her two saviors. Both eyed her and smiled-Battousai's dangerous and mysterious while Tenken's was softer and more comforting.

Kaoru found both irresistible.

Suddenly, a low growl and many guttural chuckles emerged from a nearby alley. A group of eight or so thugs emerged, each brandishing a makeshift weapon. The unkempt brigands all stood at least five or more inches taller than Soujiro, who was the tallest of the trio.

"Hey, little lady. Why don't you come with us…we'll be a lot more fun than those two shrimps you're with. And remember, if you don't want to come quietly, we can always take you our way." With a suggestive grin, the leader stepped forward and reached for Kaoru.

Before he could even touch her, Soujiro and Kenshin stood between Kaoru and the thug.

"Now, Sir. I hardly believe that is the proper way to address a lady such as Kaoru." Soujiro said with a hard voice, full of unspoken anger and condescension.

"What Soujiro means to say is that you better get lost, or we'll deal with you." Kenshin's steely voice reinforced Soujiro's warning.

The group behind the leader tensed and moved forward. Their leader made a very foolish decision that night.

"We can take you. Boys, take care of these two pathetic excuses for men!" Spittle flying, his harsh and cacophonous voice signaled the start of the fight.

"DON'T KILL THEM!" Kaoru yelled with all her strength before she turned to fight with the thug who was coming closer to her, but before she could raise her hand, Soujiro had knocked him unconscious with the hilt of his sword.

Kenshin heeded her warning, altering his attack midair so he could only smack the leader's head with the flat of his blade.

Soujiro and Kenshin finished the rest of the men with relative ease, never allowing any to come close to Kaoru. Their teamwork was flawless, Kaoru noted.

Easily dodging in and out of the thugs' attacks, the infamous Tenken and Battousai used their unmatched speed to knock all the burly men unconscious. Their grace and agility seemed almost impossible, it was as if they were angels-or demons.

In less than five minutes, all swords were sheathed and Kaoru stood in between the two men who weren't even breathing harder. _Kami-sama, they are amazing._

So, how'd you like it? I didn't really go into detail with the fight, but I figured I didn't need to. I mean, com'n. It's KENSHIN and SOUJIRO versus a bunch of random thugs! Gomen for the lack of dialogue, I'm going to be upping it in future chapters-I just felt descriptions were needed here. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns-just let me know. Oh, and my friend, BlackRosesRed wants everyone to read and review her story (it's in her profile thingy, just search her name). It's an Inuyasha story, though. So if you don't know Inuyasha…read it anyway. You don't need to know the series to get her fanfiction. Arigatou!


	4. Plans

AN: Well, I am victorious! I have found a beta reader! Much thanks to CallaRose, who graciously volunteered to be my beta reader! Yay! I am extremely happy about this, hopefully together; we can make the story prettier sounding and more fluid. :blissful sigh: Hm. A reviewer asked me if the Rurouni is coming back. My answer: Possibly. I can't reveal the secrets of the story to you, yet. Just like I won't tell you the pairing-yet. I'm still contemplating it. I know the characters, and I trust them to tell me where to take the story. (I just saw the movie 'Alex and Emma'. Alex is a writer and he says something very similar about writing and letting the story tell itself.)

#$$$ GOD DA$#&&$$ F(&$$

I had to get that out of my system. I had my authors' notes and the disclaimer and the first TWO sentences of this chapter saved. I typed seven pages…then my computer got a FREAKING ERROR and GOD $#f#$$. I CAN'T TAKE THIS! I was typing for three hours. I know that I take forever to write. But yeah…three hours of work, GONE IN LESS THAN THIRTY SECONDS. :sigh: I've gotten a redbull out (I'm already taking shots) and it's 12:02 A.M., standard eastern time (or is it eastern standard time? It's time for me to just write No thinking.). Hopefully I'll get this chapter out the way I wanted to…it was good before. GOD &&$#$.

Sorry for the language, but you must understand my…frustration. ---understatement of year.

Disclaimer: The ownership of Rurouni Kenshin and its affiliates is that which I lay no legal claim to.

When You Can't Let Go

Chapter 4: Plans

Kaoru lay on her sleeping mat; her eyes closed. Sighing she rolled onto her back, opening her lids to gaze at the ceiling. Regulating her breaths, Kaoru slowly slid her mind into the more wakeful mode required for deep thought.

She was thinking about Kenshin and Soujiro. They were both highly skilled swordsmen. Kaoru had a sketchy understanding of Kenshin's past, but she knew next to nothing of Soujiro's past but what foggy and vague descriptions Soujiro himself had told her.

Kaoru remembered a conversation that she'd had with Soujiro about two weeks after his arrival at the dojo. They had both shared more of their past than the others at the dojo knew about. Soujiro's calm voice echoed in her head…

"_I learned swordsmanship early on from a great fighter. I…I killed many people working for this man. I thought what I was doing was right, but then a great swordsman fought with me and showed me that there's more to life than the teaching I followed. So I began to wander, hoping to atone for the sins of my past."_

Kaoru thought harder, and found herself sitting up. Understanding what her body subconsciously suggested, she quietly rose and moved to the hallway. Walking as quietly as she could, Kaoru walked down the hall and out onto the porch.

She wanted to think with the stars.

…..

I could hear her breathing, calm and steady for some time before she moved from her room. I knew she was awake the whole time, and I was wondering if I would have a chance to talk with her about what was keeping her up so late. A few moments after she arrived on the porch, I silently slid open my shoji door and crept into the hall.

Maintaining myself within the shadows, I blended in. It was almost like all my missions for Shishio-sama all those years ago. Years? I inwardly sighed. More like a year and a half…My past just wasn't far enough away for my comfort.

I thought of Kaoru. She was innocent, and when those thugs first appeared; I was almost blinded by fury that they would assume they could get away with what they were suggesting. Kaoru should never have to encounter men like that, they were despicable.

They were weak…But even worse, they had no honor.

Kaoru was strong and vibrant. I never knew that one woman could awaken such emotion within me. Underneath my smile, I had emotions…but they were never strong because I had suppressed them for so long. All the beatings I had endured from my family as a child…Yes. Emotions were best left behind, never touched nor embraced.

For some reason, Kaoru was able to bring real smiles out of me. I felt the difference immediately the first time I had truly smiled.

FLASHBACK

Kaoru's athletic build could be seen beneath the gi and hakama she wore as she sat, exhausted, on the dojo's floor. Her brow was slightly glistening with sweat from the exertion of sparing with the swordsman beside her.

"Soujiro, I just wanted to compliment you on your technique, with the sword...and the children. You have a natural touch." Kaoru beamed proudly at her blue eyed assistant.

Slowly, Soujiro widened his usual smile and felt something flutter in his chest. Looking straight into the cerulean depths of Kaoru's eyes. "Arigatou, Kaoru. You are very skilled with your bokken as well."

Kaoru let out a friendly laugh, tossing her head back. "Ah, Soujiro, you know that I'm not nearly as good as you. You are…amazing."

Again, Soujiro felt that foreign flutter in his chest.

END FLASHBACK

It was so uncharacteristic for me to feel emotions. I found that feeling how Kaoru made me feel was quite…refreshing, and exhilarating.

I kept to the inside of the house, peering out at Kaoru who was staring into the sky strewn with millions of diamonds. I noticed I was not the only one admiring the dojo instructor.

Battousai moved from the shadows first. As he sank into the step beside Kaoru, I withdrew. Slowly retreating back to my room. He could speak with her…but I didn't trust him. He could have his moment but I wasn't giving up.

Kaoru was so trusting, in everyone. Unfortunately, I feared she would trust the wrong person one day…and I believed this person would be the Battousai.

…..

I knew the Tenken was hiding out in the shadows. Heh. He was probably hoping to talk with Kaoru tonight. Too bad I would beat him to it.

I walked over to Kaoru from my place in the darkness. As I sat beside Kaoru, I felt the Tenken's ki move back to his room with an indignant flare. I fought down a little laugh at his antics. Who knew the smiling Tenken would actually smile for real? Especially for my Kaoru…

Kaoru certainly did have a certain effect on many people, especially me.

"Good evening, Kaoru." I said in a low voice, smiling as she gave a slight jump. Her eyes had been fixed on the sky, with numerous stars scattered around an almost full moon.

"Hello, Kenshin. Couldn't sleep, ne?" Her concerned blue eyes were directed at me.

"Ah. Well, I was just thinking. You?" I observed her yukata which was quite modest, I could barely make out the curve of her neck blending into her back's plane.

Kaoru was silent for a moment. Her skin was smooth and pale in the moon's light, while her eyes sparkled with the reflection of the stars thrown across an inky black pallet.

I love how Kaoru turns me into a poet.

"Kenshin…I was just thinking also." Her eyes once again sought the refuge of the boundless sky. I let her think for a few minutes before telling her my thoughts.

"Kaoru, tomorrow I will train with you." She looked startled, and for a second, I thought she was going to get mad. I quickly added, "I know you can defend yourself, but I'm simply worried about three things. One, you will not always have a bokken with you. Two, there could be many opponents, and three, they will not always give a fair fight." I omitted the part about how when Soujiro and I had taken down those thugs that I had briefly worried about what would have happened if we had not been there with her. Well, more than _briefly_ worried.

The thoughts had actually been plaguing me since we returned to the dojo.

I expected Kaoru to rail off about how she could protect herself, and how she wasn't a child, but oddly-Kaoru looked as if she were considering my suggestion. Or rather, statement.

Maybe it was the moon and its hypnotic powers…but Kaoru grinned at me.

"Alright Kenshin, I will train with you, just so you won't worry. You are so considerate." With a dazzling smile, Kaoru stood and stretched her arms high above her head. Watching her lithe form stretch and contract back into its normal position caused a stirring in my stomach. A coil of heat unwound itself and moved into my chest.

Kaoru's raven hair was free and hung to the small of her back. I inwardly groaned. I battled down the compulsive urge to run my fingers through her silky tresses.

She really was beautiful.

"Ano, we'll have to practice in the afternoon Kenshin. I have three classes in the morning, Soujiro will be helping me with those. Well, it's getting late and I have to wake up early tomorrow."

As she turned to go back into the house, she said a 'goodnight, Kenshin' to me over her shoulder.

I was left on the porch alone. I was fine with that, I had been out here for an hour or two before Kaoru arrived, and I planned to stay for at least another hour.

Staring at the sky made me feel small and insignificant. It was comforting, in an odd way. Somehow, I felt that if I was small then my sins were also minute.

But the sentiment only lasted when I looked at the night sky.

I knew the murders I committed during the Bakumatsu were many, but for a higher purpose. The dead, on the other hand, know no purpose other than to constantly remind me of their dying screams and final pleas for life. Every night in my dreams, I relive those moments of horrific trauma. Within my head-there is no escape for a hitokiri.

Two things kept me sane. Kaoru, and the knowledge that there were others like her living in this peaceful age, an age which I had built with the blood of thousands.

…..

The sounds of Tokyo awakening in the early morning filled the Kamiya dojo. Kaoru twitched her small nose in her sleep, attempting to rid herself of a phantom itch.

_Auughh…I hate early mornings…Must get out of bed…_ Kaoru's thoughts managed to rouse her so she sat up on her sleeping mat. Rubbing her sleep-heavy lids, she looked around the room.

_Time for breakfast…hopefully I won't have to make it. _Kaoru put on the gi and hakama that she taught in. She wasn't uncomfortable wearing a kimono, but wearing a gi and hakama was much more appealing to the young kendo instructor. Somehow, when she wore the traditional training attire, she felt that she was making her father proud.

Quickly brushing her ebony locks, she swept it all into a ponytail. Her bangs and two strands of rebellious hair found their way out of her hair's bindings. It was annoying, yes, but she knew that she wouldn't be able to fix it, she was never able to.

Sliding the shoji to her room open, she glanced down the hall and noticed breakfast was already cooking. Elated, she skipped to the kitchen to find a smiling Soujiro and disheveled Yahiko.

Slowing her steps, Kaoru decided to scare Yahiko. He looked like the walking dead…perhaps it would wake him up some.

Stealthily, she maneuvered herself behind the young teenager. With a silent breath she practically yelled, "What a beautiful morning, Yahiko-chan! Wouldn't you agree?"

Yahiko's body jerked as if it were physically hit. He turned to deliver a penetrating glare to his teacher.

"Oi, Busu! It is WAY too early for that…" After the initial anger wore off, his eyes once again became distant and the end of his sentence trailed off. Kaoru knew he was half asleep again.

Putting the washed rice into a pot to cook, Yahiko mumbled to Kaoru and Soujiro something about the dojo. He padded his way to the door and left the two blue-eyed people laughing.

"Soujiro, were you ever like that as a child? Or is it just Yahiko?" Kaoru had to keep herself from snorting as she said that.

"Ah, Kaoru, I must admit I was never quite as…sleepy as Yahiko in the morning…" Soujiro grinned wider as he remembered the young boy's first appearance in the kitchen that morning. If Kaoru thought he was bad when she saw him, she should've seen him only twenty minutes before!

"Heh. Yep, I knew it was just a Yahiko thing. Soujiro, would you like for me to help you with that?" Kaoru admired the way her companion used precise movements to slice the fish into equal parts.

"Miss Kamiya, I would be honored if you would help me prepare breakfast." Soujiro said in a serious voice. The smile he wore never left his youthful face.

…..

_Soujiro really is cute,_ I thought to myself.

Shaking my head of those thoughts, I moved to get a pan for the fish. Soujiro and I worked together, never exchanging words-because we didn't need to.

After ten minutes, the fish and rice were ready. Soujiro and I set up the table.

"We have to make sure that we leave room for Sano, you never know when he'll decide to show up!" I said to Soujiro. With a nod of his head and the ever-ready smile, he placed another bowl on the table.

"Well, Kaoru. It seems like breakfast is now ready. Ah, here comes Yahiko."

"Isn't it amazing how Yahiko-chan can magically appear whenever there is food? He's almost like Sano!" I exclaimed with a sly grin as a more alert Yahiko made a beeline for his bowl.

"Busu, be quiet. I'm hungry." With an exaggerated sniff, Yahiko declared, "I suppose Soujiro made this meal, ne? Busu could never pull off any cooking without burning the water."

With the last sentence, he began to shove his mouth full of food as fast has his chopsticks would allow. I felt the vein in my head start to throb as I rolled up my sleeves to whack Yahiko across the head.

Soujiro leaned over and patted my arm. With a knowing smile, he just shook his head with silent laughter. I suppose that was his way of letting me know that I should let Yahiko off. Well, fine. Just this once then.

_You're lucky Yahiko-chan. Next time you won't be. _I thought to myself menacingly.

I stood and told the two that I was going to tell Kenshin that breakfast was ready.

As I walked outside, I knew where he would be. A few paces off to the side of the main house led me to my secluded meditation spot beneath a Sakura tree. Kenshin was sitting with his eyes lidded and body relaxed.

_How beautiful…_ I mused as I approached him. His hair was flowing down from a high ponytail and his bangs brushed his closed eyes. Deep crimson locks that shone…_Mou! How unfair! Kenshin has better hair than I do…_I thought jealously.

I knelt beside the redheaded swordsman and placed a hand on his shoulder.  
"Kenshin." I spoke with a low voice so I wouldn't disturb him too much. I knew he was awake, but it was so quiet underneath the sakura tree, I didn't want to disturb the peace.

"Breakfast is ready, Kenshin." I said.

His eyes opened and he stared at me with the most stunning amber eyes. I'd noticed his eyes were different since he'd returned, but these eyes were…breathtaking. They had a feral quality to them and emotions swirled in their depths that I couldn't decipher. I simply couldn't move my eyes from his.

To tell the truth, I was afraid to look away, but I was also afraid to meet his gaze…it felt like I would get lost in his hardened tawny-hued orbs.

I finally broke the contact. I looked back at the house, and removed my hand from his shoulder. How could that one look make me feel so…exposed?

Hurriedly, I stood and motioned for Kenshin to come with me. He stood, his eyes still on me, and we made our way to the house for breakfast.

…..

I considered which form I should take in order to best infiltrate the Kamiya dojo. Battousai had seen my old woman form…I would need something fragile. I had heard of Kamiya-san's weakness for those who could not protect themselves. Perhaps…yes. I knew of a person I could imitate that Kamiya-san could not resist.

I smirked, continuing my journey towards Tokyo.

……………………………………………………………………………………………...

So, how'd you like it? Can you guess who the last person's POV was? If not, then you need to reread the first chapter. Well, I finished this chapter in almost 2 hours. Very good, considering I first had it almost done in 3 ½. I was distracted though. They had a very interesting program on Animal Planet. Well, I'm off to email this to my new beta reader CallaRose! Yes. Then I will post it. Man. The redbull shots really worked.


	5. My Past

AN: Well, it's late at night again, and my trusty Redbull shots will pull me through. Has anyone tried any Amp? It's got Mountain Dew in it? Green bottle? Pretty good stuff. Better tasting than redbull. But Redbull seems to have more just be psychological too. Well, the real point of this AN was:

I WILL NOT BE UPDATING FOR A WHILE.

Unfortunately, I have two camps I will be attending soon (I leave on July 15). I get back Aug 1. If I have internet access, I'll definitely try to update. On the other hand, if I don't have internet access, I promise I'll write 2-3 chapters and have them up by Aug 2 (gotta give me time to breathe :sees readers brandishing makeshift weapons, backs into corner: Okay. Fine. ASAP…No rest for the weary). Sorry for the inconvenience!

Disclaimer: The author of this 'story', hereinafter the 'fanfiction,' does not own the characters from which the fanfiction draws its characters. The aforementioned author does own the plot. Full extent of the law will be sought for violators and plagiarists of intellectual property rights, aka the 'fanfiction.'

When You Can't Let Go

Chapter 5: My Past

Breakfast was good despite the fact that the rice was a little overdone.

_More like charred, _I thought to myself. Oh well, Father always taught me to "never dwell too much on the past." I'll take his advice on this one.

But, I could still taste the blackened bits of rice sticking to the roof of my mouth and I doubted my tongue would gain its taste back by lunch.

_If only Soujiro hadn't accepted my help…_

"Kaoru, breakfast was especially good today. Arigatou for helping me." Soujiro smiled as we walked towards the dojo.

"Ah, it was nothing Soujiro…Ano, I'm afraid I ruined the rice though…Gomen." I saw a brief flicker of some emotion in Soujiro's eyes before he answered.

"It wasn't bad...In fact, I believe you improve every time you cook!" Soujiro ended with an almost convincing smile. I knew what that emotion in his eyes was now.

Horror.

I'd seen it before, especially from Kenshin.

"You sound like Kenshin now, Soujiro! He's always telling me that my cooking is getting better 'slowly but surely'…somehow, his encouragement doesn't outweigh Yahiko and Sano's comments." Now I was feeling rather gloomy about the whole cooking issue.

"True, Kaoru. But I, Seta Soujiro, would never lie to you. Your cooking is improving." He looked at me seriously. I laughed and waved my hands in a joking gesture.

"I appreciate that, Soujiro." Soujiro smiled…then again, when doesn't he?

…..

We reached the dojo and got two shinai from the rack. Kaoru and I began stretching and warming up a little. I always loved teaching with her, I got to see a side of Kaoru that was different yet still true to herself.

Her navy hakama and white gi didn't accentuate anything, but they certainly matched who she was. Kaoru was never in her element more than when she had a bokken and a class.

I try not to lie to myself. As a swordsman I must always be truthful with myself, especially with my skills and my opponents skills, otherwise I might make a wrong move. So last night when I was thinking about us, as in Kaoru and me, I decided a few things.

One: We match, but we don't. She smiles because she's genuinely happy, I smile because I've trained myself to be that way. We match because everyone knows what emotions they can predict from us. For Kaoru, that's whatever is storming in her blue eyes; for me, it's happiness-I have no other emotions.

Or so I thought.

Two: She knows how to heal. Kaoru healed the Battousai, and she's healing me now. Any day now, I'm not going to be able to walk away from her. Ever.

Well. That's enough emotions for me now.

"Kaoru, why don't we spar before the students get here? I believe that we have at least fifteen minutes." I asked her, masking the hopefulness I felt behind my usual smile.

"Sure, Soujiro. Ready?" With a ferocious cry, she leapt at me, shinai above her head and positioned for a downward strike. Very powerful, but I'm too fast for that.

"Ack! Soujiro! Don't DO that!" Kaoru angrily screeched as I grabbed the shinai and ran a circle around her, causing her to almost topple over.

Miffed, Kaoru informed me, "If you don't take this seriously, I won't spar you!"

The glint in her eye told me differently, she was upset she let herself get off balance, not because I improvised.

"Gomen, Kaoru. Why don't we try that again?" With a widened smile, I raised my shinai and stood in a defensive position. Tilting my head spurred her into a flurry of strikes.

"Sou-ji-ro, you-are, hold-ing, back!" Kaoru was very astute. Her statement came with precise attacks with each syllable. I jumped back from the engagement area.

"Well, Kaoru. Do you not want me to hold back at all?" Kaoru eyed me suspiciously, I could tell what she thinking. Defiantly, she tossed her head.

"Do I look that weak, Soujiro? I'm ready." She stood in a neutral position that would allow her to switch to defense or offense with a slight adjustment. Kaoru was a smart fighter.

I started to bounce, tapping my left foot on the dojo's polished wooden floor. Images of the fight with Kenshin flashed through my mind. _Tone it down, she's not like Kenshin._ I thought to myself….but it was tempting to give into the instinctive Tenken within me._ I haven't fought this way since Shishio-sama died. Maybe a little won't hurt, I can control myself. After all, I'm the strong one in this fight, I don't have to hurt her._ The reasoning made sense then.

"Alright, Kaoru. I won't hold back." The staccato beat of my foot sped up and soon I was moving faster than any human eyes could comprehend. Somehow I managed to avoid creating small craters where my foot hit the floor, but I didn't avoid hitting Kaoru on the arm. (AN: In the RK series, when Soujiro fights Kenshin he runs so fast and his legs are so powerful that he creates small holes/craters where his feet land.)

Her pained cry brought me out of my reversion to the Tenken. I took one look at my broken shinai and ran quickly over to the collapsed shinhandai.

Kaoru had already pulled up her sleeve and was grimacing as she prodded her red forearm. I inwardly frowned, worried about the damage I had unintentionally inflicted on her.

"Kaoru! I'm so sorry! Can you forgive me?" I held her arm gently and examined it. It was broken. The immediate swelling and bruising made it an obvious.

Kaoru glared at me. "Of course I can forgive you! But…." She gave me a devious grin. "You, _Seta-san_" she annunciated carefully, "must tell me where you learned to be so amazing. In fact, you can tell me now. I think I'm going to take a break today. Yahiko can teach." She removed her injured arm from my hands and stood, picking up her shinai with her good arm.

After she had put her practice sword away, she came over and scrutinized mine. If the look in her fiery blue eyes was anything to go by, she was upset. "And after you finish telling me your story, _Seta-san_, you can find a way to replace this broken shinai!" I almost winced at her second usage of my formal name, it sounded wrong coming from Kaoru.

Glaring menacingly at me, I only smiled sheepishly.

Perhaps the sheepish didn't show, but I felt it on the inside.

…..

"Kaoru!" Kenshin and Yahiko yelled simultaneously, their eyes bulging at the sight of Kaoru's battered arm.

It had taken on hideous shades of green, black, and blue.

"Kaoru, are you alright?" Kenshin tenderly inspected her. "Can you move your arm?"

"I can move it some, but it hurts. I think it's broken." Kenshin stiffened a fraction. His amber eyes immediately pinned Soujiro to the spot.

"Ah, Kenshin. It was my fault. I'm sorry, Kaoru." Soujiro's smile didn't waver as he moved towards Kaoru and moved next to Kenshin. "We should splint your arm, and then have a doctor look at it."

"Yahiko, you're going to have to teach the classes for me today. We don't have any advanced classes so you don't have to worry."

"Sure, busu." Yahiko lacked the conviction he usually possessed. Concern was etched into forehead as he screwed up his face, which peered over Kenshin and Soujiro's shoulders looking at Kaoru's arm.

"Kenshin," Kaoru began.

"Yes, Kaoru?" Kenshin asked instantly. Kaoru chuckled a little.

"Don't worry, Kenshin! You're so uptight, it's not a bad break, I can tell. See how my skin isn't cool or pale? That means nothing was pinched by a bone being out of place, and my joints don't feel loose, and my arm isn't locked out…Anyway. What I meant to say was, could you possibly go get Gensai-sensei or Megumi-san?" Kaoru announced all this with a calm disposition, never betraying the slight tinge of youthful fear in her eyes.

"If need be, I'll retrieve both. Hang on Kaoru, I'll be back soon." Kenshin stated seriously as he rose and placed his swords at his sides. Opening the shoji door, the redhead briskly closed the door and his receding footsteps left the two raven haired cobalt eyed teens alone.

"Soujiro, could you please get me the medical box from that self?" Gesturing towards a low-lying self, Soujiro quickly picked it from its place and set it by Kaoru. Opening the lid, he saw an assortment of first aid essentials; what caught his eye was the wood for a splint and cloth to wrap the arm.

"You seem prepared, Kaoru. Do you, by chance, have experience with broken arms?" The boy asked as he removed the splint materials from the medical box.

"Yes, broken arms like this occur quite a bit, especially in the intermediate classes. The students are very strong by then but are still making form and execution mistakes, which usually ends up with someone hitting someone else's arm. I've broken three arms in my career. Not my arms though." Kaoru said with a smile.

"This is the first time you've broken an arm? I've never broken an arm either, but there have been a few unfortunate fingers…" Kaoru laughed at Soujiro's statement and the unspoken and unconcerned mirth at his misfortune in his glittering indigo eyes.

"Ha, yes, I can commiserate with the fingers. What I don't understand about the arms though…" Her ponytailed head shook as she gazed downward.

"What don't you understand, Kaoru?"

"I don't understand why people cry." Bringing the direction of her gaze back up from her arm, she made eye contact with Soujiro and smiled at the way his eyes slightly widened and he laughed.

"People are not as strong as you, Kaoru, that's why." Kaoru merely shrugged with a smile, and continued to help Soujiro splint her arm.

…..

I could tell they were still talking about Kaoru's arm. _Kuso!_ That idiot hit her too hard! He should've known how to restrain himself. _Kami-sama, I swear if I get ahold of him…_

I attacked the laundry I was doing with more fervor as I imagine violent and painful ways to demonstrate to the Tenken the importance of protecting Kaoru.

Good grief. You just can't trust anybody to do anything right these days. At least he had splinted her arm adequately enough, it was the least the baka could do.

Megumi had come over and told Soujiro he had done it correctly and it was all that we could do for her now. She left some ointments to soothe the pain and medicine to take orally to soothe the pain-Kaoru insisted she didn't need it. Soujiro had said, "Oh, Kaoru. You're very brave."

I frowned.

_Kaoru this, Kaoru that. I have to shut him up for good, soon_. It's not that I hate the Tenken, it's just the possessive nature in me realizes that I would protect Kaoru more than he ever could hope to. I'd also known her longer.

I knew she loved me, I just never reciprocated, always keeping my distance. The truth was, I feared that I would endanger her; but now I see that being with her would allow me to protect her more.

Now that I admitted those feelings, thanks to the old lady and the release of the weak Rurouni, the only question remaining was: Does she still feel that way?

I'm a bit worried because Kaoru had begun to treat the Tenken in the same manner that she used to treat the Rurouni. When exactly had her feelings for the Rurouni changed from kindness to something a little, no-_a lot_, more?

I quieted my splashing and slowly kneaded the clothes in the water basin.

"Kaoru, so would you like me to tell you about my past now? That was your condition, correct? I broke your arm and now I must repay you with information you should have known long ago."

I perked my ears a little more. _This will be interesting._

…..

I noticed Soujiro's smile fade a little.

"Kaoru, so would you like me to tell you about my past now? That was your condition, correct? I broke your arm and now I must repay you with information you should have known long ago."

His dark blue eyes pierced mine and I merely nodded, hypnotized by the depth in them.

"Okay, Kaoru." He took a breath. The deep sea blue of his gaze prevented me from saying anything, so I just listened.

I'd admitted to myself that Soujiro was attractive, very kind, and a talented swordsman-but in that second he paused before beginning his story told me volumes of his character. I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with this man…well, he was only a year older than me, but 18 is a man, ne?

I observed Soujiro's profile as he started.

"At the end of the revolution, when the Battousai disappeared from Kyoto, a shadow assassin replaced him; Shishio Makoto. His skills were as great as his predecessor's; they had to be if he was to carry out Battousai's work. After a great deal of killings in the name of the Meiji Government-he was sentenced to death by his employers. The government sent men who shot Shishio-san several times and then lit his body with fire. Somehow, Shishio-san managed to escaped; but not totally intact."

I felt my eyes widen as I listened to Soujiro. Could this be the same Shishio that Kenshin had fought? It had to be…all the bits of information I knew from Kenshin's fight with Shishio were coming together. _But what does Shishio have to do with Soujiro?_

Soujiro paused and continued. "His body sustained massive burns everywhere, and its temperature actually rose and caused him to operate a higher heat than any human should have been able to handle. Because of this, he wore bandages all over his body. This is part of how I met Shishio-san." Soujiro's eyes became cloudy and his fists clenched a little, despite this he continued to smile-albeit absentmindedly. Looking at the ground, Soujiro continued his story.

"I grew up in a family with an adoptive family. They weren't a family. I can't call them that." Soujiro's smile faltered and immediately righted itself.

"They would beat me. I was their slave. Everyday I had to haul heavy bales of rice to the barn and when I didn't complete 100 bales a day, I was forced to sleep outside. Needless to say, the majority of my time was spent outside. One night, I heard screaming. Being the young and naive child I was, I ran to the source of the pain. Standing there was Shishio-san, and I saw him kill several policemen before he noticed me. He was going to kill me because I had seen his crime. I was so frightened, but I smiled. I couldn't do anything else, because I had trained myself to blot out all emotions but happiness. When I smiled, they wouldn't beat me as bad as when I cried and begged for mercy.

"Shishio-san leveled his sword at me, and I started laughing. In the middle of the night a young boy, surrounded by dead men with a murderer moments away form killing him, was laughing. I remember he stopped, and asked me if I was happy to die. However, before I could answer, he said 'I changed my mind. Give me food and bandages and I'll let you live.' So, I brought him to the barn and let him stay there." Soujiro traced circles around his knuckles inattentively. I couldn't tell what his eyes looked like now, his bangs were hiding them.

"I'm not sure how long it was after I took him in, but one day he gave me his wakizashi and he told me that the strong lived…and the weak died. A few days after that my brother took his katana and sliced open a bale of rice I had dropped. Father was furious, and he beat me. That night, they discovered all the bandages were gone. Everything just piled up, and all of my family grew enraged. They were going to kill me, so I ran. I hid under the house, where-coincidentally- I had also hidden the wakizashi. One of the brothers found me…he was going to kill me…so I killed him first. I came out from under the house, everyone thought that he had killed me. They were shocked to find me alive and extremely upset I had killed one of their own. Before I knew what was happening, all of their bodies were on the ground and the rain was pouring. The blade of the sword was dripping a blood so red I'll never forget it."

I reached out as Soujiro's voice dropped. Placing my hand of the uninjured arm on his, I silently encouraged him. _Poor Soujiro, such a hard life. Makes me appreciate having my family, no matter how shortly._

"Shishio-san came out. 'Are you crying?' he asked me. I said no. And I smiled. Together we left, he told me he would make me strong-second only to him. I never looked back. Years later, Shishio-san had collected a group of ten elite swordsmen, the Juppongatana. I was his right hand man and the best swordsman in this group; my name was Soujiro no Tenken."

My hand tightened its hold on him, I knew what was coming. _You've fought Kenshin, haven't you?_

"I fought Himura-san. I was going to kill him, yet something within me stopped me everytime. I kept making mistakes or missing even though I knew I could execute the moves perfectly. In the end the façade I always carried, devoid of emotion besides a constant smile, broke and _something_- a conscious, my lost soul, whatever you want to call it- _something _broke my barrier and I couldn't fight. I lost the battle. Himura-san told me that the winner isn't always right because he's the stronger one. It was really a shock for me. I'd been taught since I was young that the strong are right and will feed on the weak; that's the way life worked. So, I began to wander like Himura-san and I searched for my own answers." Soujiro shrugged and looked at me, his eyes reflecting a deep pain. I immediately grabbed him and pulled him into a hug, ignoring the pain shooting up my broken arm.

"Oh, Soujiro. I'm sorry." I whispered into his black hair which tickled my skin as I moved my lips.

"And you know what, Kaoru? When Shishio-san asked me if I was crying, I lied. Inside, I was crying. Kaoru….I didn't _want_ to kill them. I didn't _want_ to kill anyone." His voice was rough with unspoken emotions. I held him tighter with my intact arm.

"It's alright Soujiro. I don't care about your past! You're not evil, I know this." I gently stroked his hair, enjoying the feeling of his smooth locks run through my fingers.

Despite all his confessions, Soujiro still smiled at me without shedding a tear. _He has a true quiet strength…_

…..

She held me, and I marveled at the softness of her embrace despite its potency. It wasn't the reaction I had expected. _But how could I have expected less from Kaoru?_

Kaoru is the most compassionate and forgiving soul out there.

I briefly wondered if she noticed how I addressed Himura and Shishio-sama on the same level in my narrative when I usually just called Himura-san "Kenshin" and Shishio-san "Shishio-sama"…I had figured that she didn't need to know how deep loyalties ran. Maybe another day. But this was enough for quite a while.

Emotions were never my forte, and this was almost a sensory overload. Kaoru's hug, the feelings swirling inside of me because of her and my memories.

I knew the Battousai was listening. I wonder what he thought of her hugging me.

…..

She told him _exactly_ what she told me.

"_I don't care about your past!"_

Kaoru has the same passion for defending him…My heart clenched at the thought of losing her.

I'd come too far to lose her now. She was…Kaoru was everything. She made my sins worthwhile!

If someone like her could live now, then there was hope for this Meiji era, despite the foundation of death and pain it was built over…it gave me hope. My life as a hitokiri had meaning thanks to her.

_I won't lose her. _

…..

Only about two more days of walking and I'd arrive in Tokyo. I'll need to do some surveillance for a day or two from there…

I have a plan that'll lure the Battousai out of the dojo.

Quite brilliant in fact.

Once I found out Saitoh Hajime's urge to 'settle' the score with the redhead since the Bakumatsu, all I needed was some time.

Opportunities are abundant; patience is the only thing you need to find them.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

AN: Well, I gave you longer than usual chapter to compensate for me being gone for a while. I ran out of Redbull so I had to hijack some Pepsi. Hope you enjoyed it!

This chapter is also not beta'd yet because I was in a rush to get it out before I left.


	6. How You Feel

AN: Well….:steps out of the black abyss: I'm back…I'm sorry for not updating in forever! I would give you excuses…Do you want them? I'll give them, but only because it'll make me feel a little better. I've started school again, and I have three AP classes and all my classes are "gifted." (I'm in AP Statistics, AP Language and Composition, AP US History, Gifted Analysis-aka Pre Calculus- Spanish 3, and Gifted Chemistry) There's been a lot of homework involved (there's also the bit about me feeling like a complete failure in writing…got some grades back in English-my strongest subject- and well, put simply. GAAAAH:pulls out hair: It was a little like that), and I still have to make it to Taekwondo and running in the morning. For the first week of school my room was so messy I couldn't sleep in it…so yeah. Those are some of my excuses. Lame, I know. I'm sorry. I'll try harder. I've made a commitment to you readers and I WILL deliver, come hell or high water. (I usually don't curse…can you tell I'm stressed?)

Disclaimer: The amazing thing about writing fanfiction is that despite your best efforts, you can never own the characters or the anime from which they were forcibly kidnapped from.

When You Can't Let Go

Chapter 6: How You Feel

Kenshin walked quickly through the streets of Tokyo.

'_Damn Saitoh'_

He was on his way to the police station; Saitoh had summoned him.

A stranger bumped into the redhead, but kept walking with only a slight muttering of an apology.

Kenshin's anger exploded. He quickly turned to confront the rude man, but found that the crowd had already swallowed him.

'_Damn Walker' _

…..

I've already informed Battousai that I'm in town. Too bad he was so out of practice he didn't notice me. Of course, I knew he would never find me in the middle of all these people.

Ah, Battousai is very oblivious for an ex-hitokiri.

I continued to make my way across the wooden bridge, heading for the Kamiya dojo.

…..

Kaoru brushed her hair out of her face as she moved to hang the laundry.

"Kaoru, you shouldn't try to do that…especially with only one arm, you might injure yourself more. " I said.

Walking over to her, I held up the pole and took the hakama from her hand. "Let me help."

"All right, Soujiro. But only because you cooked breakfast so well AND you got rid of the rooster-head and Yahiko-chan." Kaoru smiled, but then she looked at her bandages.

She held up her injured arm and made a face.

"I feel so useless with this broken arm. Nobody will let me do anything." Kaoru frowned. "I'm not made of glass, you know. I'm perfectly capable of doing some things. Besides, I feel fine. Megumi-"

"-Ah, but we don't want you to become worse when you've already made such progress." I finished hanging the laundry and looked at her wrapped arm. I felt another stab of guilt…I'd felt a lot of those the past two days.

"I'm sorry about hurting your arm, Kaoru."

"Soujiro! If you apologize one more time, you'll REALLY be sorry! I'm tired of seeing you look all mopey and sad when you look at this stupid arm! Baka." With a huff, Kaoru turned and walked towards the house.

She didn't get too far. I sprinted ahead and reached the porch before she did.

I sat and motioned for my raven-haired friend to do the same. She shot me a glare, but I simply smiled back at her.

Kaoru threw her good arm up in defeat. "Fine, Soujiro. What do you want?" She asked as she sank onto the floor beside me.

…..

I looked at Soujiro as he smiled at the sky. His hair had grown long in the time he had spent with his, and his eyes were clearer; they didn't have that distant, cloudy look they held when he first came.

Soujiro didn't look like he was going to answer my question, so I figured he probably just wanted to sit.

So we sat in silence. With my legs crossed, I placed my chin in the unbroken arm which I had propped on one knee and rested my broken arm on the other.

When I looked at the clouds, I saw a storm coming in the far distance. The dark clouds had bright flashes jumping from one dark patch to another. The sky around us, and most of Tokyo, was beautiful and clear, with only a few wispy stragglers of white.

"Kaoru?"

I glanced at Soujiro who was now leaning backwards with both arms stretched behind him.

"Yes?"

"Well," Soujiro's ever-constant smile sagged a little. I reached over to touch his arm; when his smile wavered like that, things were never good.

My touch seemed to give him a push into saying what he wanted to. He leaned forward and turned towards me, his face now serious.

"I know you may not want to hear this, Kaoru…But…Well. Have you noticed that Kenshin isn't the same as he was before?"

I closed my eyes and thought about it. Scenes of Kenshin being much more forward and…predatory…flashed through my mind.

_Kaoru, tomorrow I will train with you…_

_Kaoru…_

_I won't. I won't leave you again, Kaoru…_

_I've made some changes, Sano…_

"Yes. He doesn't call me 'Kaoru-dono' anymore…and he doesn't call himself 'sessha'…But other than that, he's still the same Kenshin, ne?" I attempted a light hearted smile.

"I mean, he still does the laundry and helps with the cooking. I think you guys are matched fairly well with swords and in the kitchen!" I laughed at the picture of Soujiro and Kenshin slaving away over a pot of boiling rice all day. Soujiro's lips curved to form a slight smile, but he didn't laugh.

"Ay, he did change those ways, Kaoru…I'm talking about other changes though. I think that Kenshin isn't Kenshin anymore. His ki is no longer that of a rurouni." Soujiro paused, looking at me intently. I looked into my lap and fiddled with a loose thread on my training hakama.

What Soujiro was saying couldn't be true. _It couldn't…_

"So…are you saying that Kenshin is…is Battousai?" My voice was calm and even, but inside my mind was screaming and my heart was beating fast. It felt like the sun made the outside warmer than it was a few moments ago, when I was enjoying it.

I felt Soujiro's eyes on me. "Yes." One word. The one answer I didn't want to hear.

I was silent for a moment. Kenshin had lost himself to the person he was in the past, the person he spent 10 years trying to escape. I could feel the sting of tears threatening to fall. I felt like I had failed him.

_But Kenshin hated Battousai…why would he become…it doesn't make sense! Kenshin wouldn't throw the rurouni away…would he? _

Suddenly, I felt Soujiro's arms around me. I buried my head into his shoulder and held my breath. I wouldn't cry. Maybe Kenshin wanted to be the Battousai. Maybe he wanted it…

…..

The blue eyed boy held the girl close to him as her shoulders shook with unshed tears, but it didn't last long. Soon, she had calmed herself and was slowly inhaling the smell of the swordsman's gi.

Soujiro rubbed slow circles onto her back as he felt her ki return to normal. Its level had spiked, showing him strength of spirit that few possessed.

"I'm here for you, Kaoru." He whispered into her hair. Blue eyes gazed up towards his own as he continued to make comforting motions on Kaoru's back.

"I know, Soujiro." She said as she gave him a little smile, eyes still betraying the pain she felt.

_She probably feels like she's lost Kenshin…_

…..

I looked into her eyes which held mine with a steady gaze full of swirling emotions, unspoken but well known. Without my consent, my hand moved to rearrange the bangs which had fallen in a sloppy manner on the top of her eyebrows.

I wanted more; I loved the way her hair felt. I brushed my fingertips across her hairline and ran my hand through the length of her ponytail. Kaoru lifted her head and closed her eyes.

Apparently Battousai had never done this to her.

Her inexperience was obvious; she was satisfied with just having me touch her hair. What if I touched her face? Slowly, I traced my fingers along her jaw.

Kaoru responded by inching closer to me. I smiled as I moved a single finger over her lips. Her eyes widened, looking slightly worried as she looked at me. With a reassuring smile, I moved towards her lips.

_I hope I am her first kiss. _

…..

_OhmygoshOhmygoshOhmygoshOhmygosh_

Am I allowed to let him touch my hair? Nobody touches my hair…What if someone walks in? But…I hope he likes it.

We were just talking about Kenshin….how did we get here? Don't I still love Kenshin? _Don't I?_ He never does anything like this; he never treats me like Soujiro.

My eyes snapped open as I felt his fingers move along my face. In a totally uncontrolled response, my body moved closer to his. _AHHH, What am I DOING?_

_Kaoru, lots of girls have experienced this…You're just a little behind the times. What if somebody comes in! My reputation! I already have two men staying with me! But you like it, don't you? Well…_

I pushed aside all my reservations as I saw Soujiro smile.

But then he leaned his head down, like he was…_Ohmygosh, he's going to kiss me._

I could feel his breath near my mouth, and my fingers entwined themselves in his hair. _Heart beating so fast…_

When our lips finally touched, it seemed like I'd been waiting forever. His soft mouth moved gently against mine as we leaned closer and held tighter. I parted my lips, inviting him with a slight pull from the hand lost in his dark hair.

My last coherent thought before I lost myself to the bliss of his doing:

_He tastes good_.

…..

Soujiro pulled away quickly as he felt Kenshin's ki come towards the front gate. One look at Kaoru's face had him swoop in for a quick touch of their lips, a promise of more to come. Her blue eyes seemed glazed over, and her hand was still tucked into his tousled ebony hair.

"Ah, Kaoru…" Soujiro began, only to be interrupted by the abrupt clashing of their mouths.

"Kao…ru…" Soujiro's broken words spilled between Kaoru's lips.

"Gomen! Gomen. Did you…" Kaoru gave an uncertain look at him. "…Did you not want that?"

Before he could answer she sighed and looked away, idly tracing patterns on her splinted arm.

"Kaoru, of course I wanted that. You are a very good kisser." He said with a genuine smile.

"But you-" Kaoru began, her blue eyes looking confused.

"Well, Kenshin is returning." A pointed glance at the gates revealed nothing, but within a few seconds a redhead seemed to be approaching the dojo's gates.

"Mou!" Kaoru looked flustered for a minute as she attempted to arrange her clothes and hair. One look at Soujiro elicited another "Mou!" as she quickly organized his appearance.

"Okay. How do I look?" Soujiro chuckled as Kaoru tried to look calm and collected. Kaoru slapped his leg.

"Seriously, Soujiro!" Glaring, she gestured towards herself. "How. Do. I. Look. ? And fast!"

"You look fine, Kaoru. Don't worry." Soujiro smiled, but a nagging feeling began to bother him.

…..

_What if she regrets it?_

_She wouldn't do something like that, and then take it back…would she?_

"Ohayo! Soujiro, Kaoru." Kenshin had finally reached us so I had to put aside my thoughts as I focused on the redhead.

"Ohayo, Kenshin." Kaoru gave him a breathtaking smile, and I felt jealous.

_But she just kissed you, not him. _

Satisfied, I smiled.

_But…What if she regrets it?_

"Kaoru, I want to speak to you, can we go for a walk?" Kenshin held out his hand.

I battled internally…should I let Battousai take her? Kaoru decided for me.

"Sure, Kenshin. We'll be right back, Soujiro." She waved and got off the porch.

I tried to get a good look at her eyes before she turned, but her bangs shadowed them. I bit back telling her to be careful. Battousai wouldn't appreciate that.

As they left through the dojo's gates, I looked up the sky.

_Looks like the rain is moving in. _

…..

I was a little worried that it would start raining as we walked. "Are we going to be long, Kenshin? It looks like it's going to rain."

Kenshin took a glance at the sky and its rolling black clouds. "Don't worry, Kaoru." He said, returning his eyes to the road ahead of us.

We walked as the scenery changed from houses to fields. I reflected on the kiss, or _kisses_, with Soujiro. I felt like I had betrayed Kenshin…but it seemed like I would wait until I was an old maid for him to even kiss me the way Soujiro did.

Months ago I would've waited a lifetime for Kenshin, but now that I've gotten to know Soujiro… I'm torn.

"I'm sorry I have to do this, Kaoru-chan." I looked up and saw we had reached the edge of a small forest, and then I glanced at Kenshin.

Except he wasn't Kenshin.

…..

She opened her mouth to scream, but I'd already immobilized her. Kaoru's eyes filled with terror, but then shifted to anger. _Interesting._

"Well, since you don't know who I am, allow me to introduce myself." I gave a slight bow.

"My name is Shigematsu. I am a ninja." I gave a thoughtful pause. _That didn't come out as tactfully and impressively as I had planned._

"Well, I wasn't born as a ninja; I was actually trained to be a shogunate, but then the Meiji Restoration tore that from me. Battousai actually murdered my father. You're only a mean to the end."

I took in her appearance. Disheveled ponytail, blazing azure orbs…Very attractive. I can see why Battousai chose her.

"I suppose you're sick of always being taken captive, ne, Kaoru-chan?"

………………………………………………………………………………………………...

Well, there you go. Usually I sit down all at once and write the whole chapter, but this chapter was broken into roughly three sessions. Hope you like the fluff. I tried to write it without being overly…gushy? I dunno. I'm second-guessing my writing enough. Only 6 more reviews until 100. Wow. Thank you guys! (If any of you are still reading after my long absence….) Your encouragement really does help (I went back to read some reviews and find what you guys liked). But I'm not asking for reviews because I'm NOT a review whore.

Don't you hate cliffys? (Or would the spelling be 'cliffies'? I suppose since "cliffy" isn't even classified as an official word we can't be too picky with the details.)

Oh my goodness. (wtf? Oh my _goodness_?) Anyway. I just figured out how to edit documents straight from ffn. I am an idiot. Of course, my teachers probably could've told me that. Especially when it comes to writing...Auuuug! I'm in a funk again.


	7. Soujiro's End

AN: Merry Christmas! Well, here we are again. I apologize; you get to throw some more rotten veggies and such. In case you were wondering where I was…I was here…at home. Doing homework. And buying Christmas presents. Yeah. Oh yeah, I got a couple reviews commenting on how Kaoru had taken a liking to her kidnapper and I would like to clarify-Kaoru is stuck between Battousai and Soujiro only! And as for the final pairing…You shall see. However, in my next fanfiction, I plan on making the pairing very obvious from the beginning, it's just too much hassle to write a triangle. :sigh: On with the show!

_**VERY IMPORTANT:**_

**THERE ARE TWO ENDINGS!**

**This is the first ending, where Kaoru ends up with Soujiro, the next chapter with the be second ending, where Kaoru ends up with Kenshin. Following the respective endings there will be two corresponding epilogues. So in all there will be 10 chapters and Kaoru will get to have BOTH swordsmen. Lucky Kaoru. Geez. She's so lucky I almost want to hate her! But I couldn't hate Kaoru...she's too cool. **

Disclaimer: In the name of God impure souls of the living dead-wait. Wrong fanfiction. Hellsing isn't mine…and neither is RK…I just can't win, huh?

When You Can't Let Go

Chapter 7: Soujiro's End

Saitoh took a long drag off his cigarette and leveled a steely gaze onto the redhead sitting across from him. Unwavering, Kenshin pierced the officer's eyes with his own amber stare.

"Well, _Battousai_," Saitoh spit out his name, "I see you've ceased your mindless vow to never kill again-all for the best, I suppose." Saitoh stood, and moved over to a window overlooking the bustling streets below his office. Smoke curled from his cigarette as he removed it from his mouth. "You see, we're having problems with a certain man named Shigematsu. Our intelligence has been unable to find more on him other than he is the son of a former shogun-one you happened to kill in the early stages of the Bakumatsu. Apparently, he attempted to raise an insurrection aimed at the Meiji government."

Kenshin shifted in his seat, an uneasy feeling settling deep in his stomach and sending warning sparks to the tips of his fingers.

"Now, the government has ordered me to," Saitoh gave a slight cough and glared at Kenshin. "The government has informed me that we will be in need of your services. I will send a messenger when we have more information."

Glad that his speech was over, Kenshin stood and moved with his cat-like grace towards the door. Sensing Saitoh's eyes on him, he looked over his shoulder.

"Oh, and by the way Battousai, Shigematsu is trained as a ninja." Without a word, the redhead nodded in acknowledgement and left the officer's stifling office.

…..

Soujiro was preparing dinner a little early in the kitchen. His head was bent, deep in thought over the rice he was washing, allowing his bangs to fall over his eyes.

_Something isn't right. Something has happened to Kaoru…_

Blue eyes flashing, Soujiro released the pot of rice and raced towards the dojo's large gates, only to be met by the last person he wanted to see.

"Battousai, where is Kaoru?" Soujiro tried to suppress the anxiety he felt blooming within his chest by giving his trademark grin.

"Isn't she here, with you?" Kenshin knew Soujiro was trying to pin some sort of blame on him. Hopefully Kaoru wasn't gone; but a quick scan of the dojo told him she was.

_Today just isn't my day. _Kenshin ruefully thought. "Well, where is she, if she isn't here?"

Words cold and firm he replied, "She went with you. On a _walk_. Remember?" Soujiro's words were clipped, his anxiety slowly turning towards anger as his smile started to falter.

Gold eyes flashed. "I just got back from town." Kenshin looked into Soujiro's blue eyes.

Soujiro met Kenshin's dark amber gaze and they both gave a nod. They would work together - for Kaoru.

…..

"_I suppose you're sick of always being taken captive, ne, Kaoru-chan?"_ I rolled my eyes. Kaoru-chan my butt! _Just wait until I get out of this stupid swordsman spirit lock-ARGGH. Jinei's attack was just like this…I've just gotta concentrate. _

(AN: In the episode where Jinei captured Kaoru, he used an attack that involved paralyzing his opponent through his swordsman spirit, and it could only be broken if the swordsman spirit of his opponent was greater than his-needless to say, Kaoru beat it.)

"Kaoru, you look uncomfortable. Let me help you." My concentration broke as Shigematsu reached for my broken arm. _Oh no! _I grit my teeth and prepared for him to hurt my already aching arm; but he only closed his eyes and moved his hands over my arm. Warmth imbued the broken appendage, tingling my nerves; and I could have sworn I felt the muscles and bones stitching themselves together again.

"In addition to ninjutsu training, I also learned from some very wise men. As you can see, some of my learning comes in handy…"

Drowning him out, I focused on getting out of this "I'm-weak-and-can't-move" stage. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead, and just as I felt them begin to roll down my face-I felt it. I knew I had broken free. The ability to move by myself was unmistakable.

_Whoa… _Not only was I free, but my arm was…healed. _That must have been some learning he got…_I thought as I experimentally moved my previously broken arm. Seeing all was fine, I looked up at Shigematsu…

WACK

…and punched him in the gut, following through with an uppercut.

Shigematsu stumbled back gently cupping his injured chin and glowered at me.

"I suppose I deserved that, ne, Kaoru?" He straightened. "What, bringing you out here to this wilderness and all. But, I thought that we could be friends…" He gave me a mocking puppy look, but it instantly changed into a one of fierce anger. "We're just going to have to do this the hard way, aren't we?"

With a speed I had thought him incapable of, he was behind me and tying my hands with a rope…which he must have had hidden, because it definitely wasn't there before.

_ARRGH! Out of the frying pan and into the freaking boiling water! Good grief, I can't seem to catch a break. Okay…just breath Kaoru, think. _I stopped struggling and settled for an icy glare; while Shigematsu was tying my hands, I held them slightly apart-not enough to be noticeable, but enough to make a difference when my escape was happening. _Heh, why do badguys always assume that when a victim goes still they've given up? He's gonna regret not tying this rope tighter-oh well, all the better for my getaway. _

…..

The sun was reaching its highest peak in the clear sky as the two young men made their way down the dusty street which led to the outskirts of town. Passing Dr. Genzai's office, they encountered a certain rooster-headed friend.

"Whoa, Kenshin! Where'ya going in such a hurry?" Sano's grin included the trademark fishbone dangling carelessly from his lips.

"Kaoru's been-" Soujiro and Kenshin spoke in unison. Eyeing each other, Kenshin began again. "Kaoru's been kidnapped. We're going to save her."

"What!" Sano sputtered. "Weren't you supposed to be with her, Soujiro? What happened to that? If I find out she's been hurt…oh, your smiling face is gonna get it!" Reining in his anger he indignantly turned up his chin. "Well, we better go rescue the little missy, eh?"

Soujiro smiled and began to speak, only to have Kenshin interrupt him.

"No. Soujiro and I will go, you need to wait back at the dojo for Yahiko, and keep him from following us." Voice steady and sure, Kenshin began to walk again. "We'll be back before dinner."

With an almost humorous smile, Soujiro said, "Hai, don't worry, we'll be back soon!" And with that, the blue eyed man followed after Kenshin.

…..

_It's getting hot. And some stupid, inconsiderate kidnappers won't allow us to move into the shade…because no…that would make too much sense now, wouldn't it?_ "Ano, Shigematsu…aren't you getting hot too? The sun is a bit…"

"No."

"We should-"

"No."

"You are insufferable! It's hot, and you know it! Why can't we just make this experience a little bit more bearable by moving under those trees!" _Uggh. Shouldn't have yelled at him…it made it so much hotter...When is everybody gonna come? Well…it's hot, and he looks tired-now's the perfect time. _

Jumping onto my feet I took Shigematsu by surprise, throwing a jumping hook kick to his head-thank goodness Misao helped me with all her hand to hand combat stuff. As my foot connected he dropped his short sword and I lunged after it. _Ah hah! Finally! _

It was awkward picking up the sword, seeing as my hands were still tied behind my back, but I managed. With the surprisingly light weapon I began to run in the direction of the village; running into the woods would be too risky because with my hands tied I wouldn't have the balance to run between branches and random bushes. _It was hot before…but this is REALLY-._

"No!" Apparently Shigematsu was a good runner…well, better than good if he could outrun me. Stupid ninja wizard freak took back his sword and kicked me none too gently to the dusty road. Ignoring the pain I felt I thought: _Here we go again…think, Kaoru, think. _

…..

She went this way, I could tell. Idiotic Tenken. I wanted to wring his neck and slice him into a million different pieces with the sharp side of my sakabatou, then I'd feed him to…._Not now, we need to find Kaoru-she's more important than disemboweling---But we wouldn't have to worry about Kaoru if it wasn't for the Tenken in the first place! _I battled within myself with a voice that seemed oddly reminiscent of the Rurouni.

"Battousai. I see her."

Sure enough, I saw a figure sitting on the road ahead. Her black haired head was bent down in thought, and her captor was towering over her, all the while keeping a sword's tip resting on her neck. I felt anger swelling into my chest and the familiar twitch in my hands. This man would pay.

…..

Kaoru had tried to run away again, but was caught. As Shigematsu raised his hand, she closed her eyes, anticipating the blow. _NO! Don't take this on your knees!_ Determined, Kaoru quickly ducked and rammed into Shigematsu, hoping to knock him over.

Unfortunately, it didn't work. Grabbing her arms roughly, Shigematsu jerked Kaoru to her unsteady feet and slapped Kaoru with a force that left her ears ringing. "Don't you dare try anything like that again! Understand?" he growled as stars danced before her eyes. "Answer me!" Shigematsu shook her violently.

"St-stop….STOP SHAKING ME!" Kaoru yelled into his face.

"As you wish, Kaoru-chan." He pushed her to the ground and drew his sword. "Now I'm going to have to keep a closer eye on you."

Kaoru felt the cold tip of a blade on her skin. Chills ran up her spine as he applied pressure.

"Now, don't move. You've become annoying, Tanuki."

…..

"Sir, I do believe you should release Kaoru. It is unkind to treat her so." Soujiro directed a bright smile at Shigematsu.

"Quit it, Tenken. Shigematsu doesn't need us to flower him with warnings. He knows-"

"Knows what, Battousai?" Shigematsu glared, never moving the katana from Kaoru's neck. "Know how you slaughtered my family and stole my destiny? Yes, Battousai, I know you and all your horrible deeds. I remember, and I will avenge the death of my family's honor and position. " In a blur of movement, Shigematsu raised the sword from Kaoru's neck and brought it down…

CLANG

The sound of metal hitting metal reverberated through the air. Soujiro looked from Kaoru, to his blade which had protected her, and finally he settled his gaze on Shigematsu and frowned.

_Kaoru held her bokken's handle firmly between her palms as Soujiro's bokken pushed against hers slowly. Arms shaking, her bokken's position wavered. Kaoru was going to lose. _

"_Soujiro_, _Kamiya Kasshin Ryu is based on protecting people. If you lose, the person whom you are protecting loses as well." Kaoru paused and took a deep breath. "It doesn't accept defeat. You should remember this." _

_With a loud cry, Kaoru slipped her body past the path of Soujiro's bokken and simultaneously used her leverage to unbalance him with proper positioning of her own weapon. Soujiro found himself staring up into her fiery blue eyes. _

"_Hai, Kaoru. I'll remember." _

"That is enough, sir. I cannot allow you to continue." Soujiro dislodged Shigematsu's weapon from his hand and moved between Kaoru and the danger. Smile gone from his lips, the blue-eyed swordsman moved to hit Shigematsu with the flat of the blade-only, it never connected.

Shigematsu let out a laugh. "Tenken-sama," he said, voice dripping with sarcasm, "I'm so sorry about that, it's just…I couldn't allow you to interfere with my plans. Don't worry, I won't hurt Kaoru-chan, only Battousai."

…..

I saw Shigematsu paralyze the Tenken. _He used a dart…how dishonorable. He only got him because Tenken wasn't paying attention. Idiot. _

"Now, Battousai. You and I shall fight." Shigematsu's eyes gleamed.

"You've gone too far. If you wanted to fight me, you could have left Kaoru out of this. That was your first mistake." I slid my foot back, preparing for a battoujitsu stance. "I know you're trained in ninjitsu…but do you think you can really beat the Battousai…the master of the battoujitsu?"

"You ask the wrong questions. I know I can beat you. Ever since you destroyed my life I've been training, training in everything, just so I could kill you."

"Your words are unnecessary. Let's begin." I had a bad feeling about this battle, but Kaoru was in danger and I couldn't allow her to be hurt. Preparing to draw my sword, I trained my eyes on Shigematsu.

…..

Almost half an hour later, the sun was beginning it's descent from the zenith of the sky towards the West. Shigematsu had resorted to various weaponry and illusions to avoid Battousai. Kenshin spent much of his time on the offensive only to jump back and observe the scene before charging back in. Something was wrong if Kenshin wasn't landing any hits.

…..

I was worried. The fight had lasted far too long, and Kenshin hadn't managed to beat Shigematsu. The only reason Kenshin's enemy seemed to be winning was because he had evaded him for so long. _Mou! Kenshin's still fighting and Soujiro's…wait. Soujiro was there…he couldn't move! Where is he! _

I looked behind me and there he was. _He's alive! _My heart skipped a beat as I looked at him.

"Don't worry, Kaoru. I'll protect you." I gave him a big hug and held his face between my hands.

"Mou! Don't ever scare me like that again, Baka!"

"Hai, hai, Kaoru." Soujiro smiled at me. Grinning back, I released him.

"Will Kenshin be okay? He's been fighting for a long time…"

"Himura-san will be fine. Look at him. Though, I'm not sure why he didn't end the fight sooner…perhaps…no…"

"Nani, Sou-chan? Why didn't he beat Shigematsu faster?"

"Well…perhaps the Battousai side of him wanted to exhaust his opponent and confuse him, then end it very quickly."

I turned my attention back to the battle. Kenshin was breathing evenly. At least he wasn't in too much danger. _Kami-sama I just hope this ends quickly._

…..

_I will end this. _I shifted into a backstance, preparing for the offensive strike. Glaring at Shigematsu, I narrowed my eyes. He visibly shuddered and quickly removed poison darts from his gi, readying the tiny weapons in his hands.

"Come, Battousai. What are you waiting for?"

I closed my eyes. In an instant I was charging. "KUZU RYU SEN!" My attack hit his nine vital body points at once. I landed on grass beyond his body as he fell to the ground.

(AN: Kuzu ryu sen is the '9 head dragon flash' which attacks 9 points on the body simultaneously: Karatake (downward stroke), Kesagiri, the slantwise downward stroke to the shoulder, Reverse Kesagiri, Right Nagi (belly stroke), Left Nagi (reverse belly stroke) Right upward cut, Left upward cut Sakakaze, upward stroke Tsuki, the stroke that pierces shortest range to the chest.)

I felt his ki explode, and suddenly disappear. And then, as if in response to the death of Shigematsu, a great light engulfed my body-just like before with the old lady. I felt the searing pain in my chest before Ipassed out.

…..

Violet eyes greeted Kaoru as she gentlyshook the redhead. "Kenshin! You're alright!" The younggirl swept him into a fierce embrace, all her concern and worry melting away with the swordsman's "Oro?"

Soujiro sat silently nearby, his mind restless. He had been unable to helpBattousaiin the last battle, and thatupset the wanderer more than he cared to share with the redhead_. I would've been unable to help Kaoru...and if she was hurt...At least Battousai handled the situation. Funny thing though...that Himura-san is no longer Battousai, but the rurouni. Curious. _

"Kaoru...-dono." Kenshin began awkwardly.

_Yes, the rurouni is back in all his splendid glory. _Kaoru thought.

"Kaoru-dono...this unworthy onekilled Shigematsu." Kenshin paused, pain filling the emptiness. "That is unforgivable, that it is."

"Kenshin, it's alright.You didn't do it out of spite-you"

"But Battousai did it out of spite, that he did." Silencefilled the room. Soujiro's shining eyes glanced interestedly from Kaoru to Kenshin.

"Sessha believes it would be best if he left...for a while." Amethyst eyes searched Kaoru's glassy blue ones. Kenshin reached for the ebon-haired girl's hands. She didn't resist as he took them between his own.

"Sessha will return one day, that he will. But, this unworthy one has broken his vow...and that...that is past forgiveness. No one, not even you, Kaoru-dono, could justify Shigematsu's death." Rising, Kenshin released her hands. Kaoru bit back a shiver as the full impact of his words sank in and his warm hands left hers.

"Sessha will gather his belongings, and depart in the morning."

"Ken-" Kaoru stopped. She knew there was nothing she could do, he would leave when the sun rose...or perhaps he would stay for breakfast. Either way, he was walking outof her life-again.Turning, she met the presence that had moved behind her.

"Soujiro, I-" He cut her off by gathering her into his arms, and resting his chin on her head. Her small frame began to shake with the tears she shed on his faded blue gi. There weren't sobs, but Kaoru's sadness wetted the cloth on the crook of his shoulder.

"Shhh, it's alright, Kaoru. I will be here for you." Stroking her back he placed feathery kisses along the crown of her head. Kaoru looked up at him, eyes questioning. "I will protect you, Kaoru...if you will let me, that is." Soujiro's smile was real, and his eyes showed it.

"You may, Soujiro." Kaoru pulled him even closer. Slowly, she brought her lips towards his.

"Kaoru," Soujiro whispered as their mouths were centimeters away, "Are you sure about-"

"Hai. I know I love Kenshin," Soujiro flinched, but Kaoru continued "But something happened, and I think that somewhere along the line my love changed...Having Battousai around, well...I think he was Battousai...but having the new Kenshin around showed me that my Kenshin, the old Kenshin, would never let himself have a relationship with me...And now that he's back, it's best if we're just close friends."

"Himura-san is a good friend. We're both very lucky." And with that, Soujiro closed the distance between them and captured her lips in a gentle kiss. All the need he had felt for her, body and soul, since he arrived spilled from his lips and made Kaoru weak in the knees. She returned his affections with a passion far more than what they shared earlier that day. Her soft mouth moved against his and he resisted the urge to pick her up and drag her into his room. As they pulled apart, cheeks flushed and breathing with shallow breaths, their eyes met.

And Kaoru knew it was going to get interesting around the dojo.


End file.
